CONFUSION....

I have no idea what I am feeling and why. It's just too confusing. I think I'm in shock really. I saw him today. I was on my way home from my shop and he was one car ahead of me on a looong stretch of road that has only two lanes. I was going home, I have no idea where he was going and only noticed him because he was driving erratically again. All on the tail of the car in front of him I guess to make them drive faster so he could get the hell outta there. But I wasn't even thinking about his disgusting butt. When we finally reached an intersection he turned that damn corner so fast I thought the car would flip. I just kept going not even looking back. I mean why does he seem to think I CARE anymore. I know where he lives, I have his number and I see him and don't even bother looking. I keep it moving. I think it's sad that I laid up and had a baby with a STRANGER. I don't know him anymore and he really is non-existent at this point. This is a first for me, being a single mother. Never would have chose to do this alone. I could kick my own ass for even choosing him as a mate. I said something to him first. I chose a little boy and I got pissed and crapped on. I'm so picky and don't even bother with a man I'm not attracted to. Does this mean I'll end up alone I wonder. I'm crying just a little cause it feels good....is that crazy? I know I'm angry. I have never been treated so poorly and it just seems like he NEVER cared at all. He simply got me pregnant and walked away. How can that not be confusing and it seems he hasn't missed a beat. I have to forgive...I don't want to...but I have to to move forward. I'm going to bed now, gotta open early tomorrow. Good night DS friends.