Confused.

Why do i have to be so confused all the time? My mind is fucking me up all the time. And i'm having some difficulties in getting in touch with the doc i'm supposed to meet. Because my daughters therapist is taking so long in talking to him about me and i'm not supposed to contackt him myself. My daughters therapist is really worried about me and so am i. I'm getting worse every day and i'm so confused, i have no idea what is borderline and what is bipolar  and what is anxiaty. I'm afraid to trust my mind and what i know. And i don't know what to do. I am so afraid that my sitiution is going to fuck up my daughter more than it has already. My husband is trying to understand but i'm not beying fair to him. I'm trying to lock him up with me. I don't want him to go to work or anywhere else but with me at home. And he is freking out about this. So my mind is fucking everybody up right now.