Confused

Last week I had a bit of stressed envolved.  I have been working with creditors and the like with mixed success.  I was quickly running out of food stuffs.  Rice is filling but can get old quick.  A few friends in AA bought me some groceries last week to help out and it is a blessing.  I also managed to sell two cars on saturday so some of the pressure is off, but only temporarily.  I attended church Sunday morning and my children were not there, oh but they were. I called their house Sunday night.  My boy said that my oldest girl went to sunday school while he stayed in the car with his mother and little sister.  What do you make of that????  Also my oldest girl was not around last night when I called so I as with so many of my phone calls,  did not get to speak to her.   I dont know when the next time will be when I will get to see them.  My son is going hunting with his grandfather next weekend and they typically go out of town for thanksgiving weekend so maybe in December I will see them again.  3 more weeks to court.  I am looking forward to it but as the past record of activity with court, I am not going to have any kind of expectation other than it will be postponed until after new years.  Another Christmas without my kids.  They still have gifts from last year in the orginal boxes unopened. My father was admitted to the hospital on Monday last week.  He had more fluid built up on his lungs.  They released him on friday.  I am going to watch him this upcoming weekend so my mother and leave town to attend a wedding for a cousin of mine.  He is doing very badly and can pass away at any moment.  I am afraid he will do so on my watch. I am unsure about so many things so I willl just put it in God's hands and do the next right thing.  Their very little left to heal my sicken heart.  It ebbs and flows and yesterday was a hard day.  I will keep my self busy, as that is a blessing that I still have.  I also forgot to add this blessing, I will be sober 9 months this Friday!!!!!