Conflicted
I am in no state to write a theme on Bryan and me. I am so burdened at the prospect of nothing to wear to Apii's wedding. My tidy black trousers are 2 sizes too small. I dont know if its meds, menopause or what....Im sure Im not eating so very differently to be putting on so many kilos.
I hate it and what can I do but wear jeans Thats all I have. Maybe I can buy something before then but I reckon they will be too long and need to be taken up.
Swear swear swear.
I can't be bothered writing today, which probably means today is the day I will benefit from writing. I did take Arnie for his walk so I am being diligent and conscientious.
So Bryan and me in a scene together.
ME having an up day after weeks of depression. I wanted to go to bed later than my usual eleven. Bryan started getting at me over and over saying not only did he want me to go to bed early but my psychiatrist and key worker both wanted it too.
He kept on and on at me and suddenly I just couldn't stand it.... I'd taken my zopiclone I had every intention of going to bed early but I just wanted some space to savour feeling good. Suddenly I was so angry with him I wanted to punch him in the throat to make him shut up.
But of course I didnt. I grabbed my bag and made for the door. Wow! to escape!
I took myself down the hill to the local motel which was shut...So I went along the strret to a ritzy 4 star hotel. It cost me $228 for a room. I had room service-cheese and ham croissants. I watched Sky. I smoked -it was a smoking room , what luxury. My zopiclone just had me high a wee bit.
My memory is shot. I can't remember making up with bryan the next day. I guess we did. We had so many fights and so many reconciliations.
I havent described him in this scene...i cant begin to convey the monotony of his dronimg on at me. The fury that his siding with the Taylor Centre against my freedom elicited.
I can t write today. Would rather bing-bong on daily strength.
I hate it and what can I do but wear jeans Thats all I have. Maybe I can buy something before then but I reckon they will be too long and need to be taken up.
Swear swear swear.
I can't be bothered writing today, which probably means today is the day I will benefit from writing. I did take Arnie for his walk so I am being diligent and conscientious.
So Bryan and me in a scene together.
ME having an up day after weeks of depression. I wanted to go to bed later than my usual eleven. Bryan started getting at me over and over saying not only did he want me to go to bed early but my psychiatrist and key worker both wanted it too.
He kept on and on at me and suddenly I just couldn't stand it.... I'd taken my zopiclone I had every intention of going to bed early but I just wanted some space to savour feeling good. Suddenly I was so angry with him I wanted to punch him in the throat to make him shut up.
But of course I didnt. I grabbed my bag and made for the door. Wow! to escape!
I took myself down the hill to the local motel which was shut...So I went along the strret to a ritzy 4 star hotel. It cost me $228 for a room. I had room service-cheese and ham croissants. I watched Sky. I smoked -it was a smoking room , what luxury. My zopiclone just had me high a wee bit.
My memory is shot. I can't remember making up with bryan the next day. I guess we did. We had so many fights and so many reconciliations.
I havent described him in this scene...i cant begin to convey the monotony of his dronimg on at me. The fury that his siding with the Taylor Centre against my freedom elicited.
I can t write today. Would rather bing-bong on daily strength.
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