Conference update
Hello SOTH - I am finally able to sit for a few and let you know how the Women of Faith conference was. I had been twice before and this year was the best. 6 amazing women, authors as speakers with 2 well known award winning Christian artists - Natalie Grant & Matthew West....The music was great and very uplifting. 8000 women with hands held high to heavens, releasing whatever it was that was keeping them down, singing, singing...Oh what a release it was and so nice to just be in the moment.
The 2 friends I went with never buy their tickets in advance...they believe that they will get tickets and by faith believe it! So off I went with them, standing in the parking lot holding a sign that read 3 tickets needed. Felt like a homeless person, asking for $$$...Sheryl, sure enough went off to get tickets and within just a few minutes, had 3 tickets (cheaper than buying online) and the seats were on the floor of the Honda Center, center stage...20 rows back....Oh ye of little faith....so our week-end started off great. Walking into the Honda Center, music was playing and I stopped in my tracks because playing was one of the songs that was played @ Jennifer's service...Thx Jennifer - I smiled in the midst of my tears.
Each session was about 45 minutes. The subjects ranged from Hope in Christ to dealing with depression to how can we help each other when someone close is hurting? How can we be more intuitive to our friends and new friends ? How can we help each other? God was the center of every session and solution to our struggles each of us have....
I often look @ God and think, why, why, why wasn't Jennifer healed? Why couldn't she stay here, she was so damn faithful and believed God was going to heal her....I was reminded that Jennifer was healed, just not the way I wanted....She is free now and She definitely wanted to be with "her daddy" as she referred God as. My perspective is changing - more positive I think. I'm trying hard not to blame, question so much, just work on acceptance.
All the above is a process, I know, and I don't have my mom or my daughter to walk it with me or say just that one thing that would calm me or make sense.. As Kala's mom said, I am realizing that Jennifer is alive and I see her more and more in my daily life. I miss her being here physically but I have you sisters to get me through as you are traveling ahead of me.
Almost a year - hard to believe. SIGH. BREATHE. SIGH. BREATHE
Have a great Friday - it's almost the week-end. YAY!!
The 2 friends I went with never buy their tickets in advance...they believe that they will get tickets and by faith believe it! So off I went with them, standing in the parking lot holding a sign that read 3 tickets needed. Felt like a homeless person, asking for $$$...Sheryl, sure enough went off to get tickets and within just a few minutes, had 3 tickets (cheaper than buying online) and the seats were on the floor of the Honda Center, center stage...20 rows back....Oh ye of little faith....so our week-end started off great. Walking into the Honda Center, music was playing and I stopped in my tracks because playing was one of the songs that was played @ Jennifer's service...Thx Jennifer - I smiled in the midst of my tears.
Each session was about 45 minutes. The subjects ranged from Hope in Christ to dealing with depression to how can we help each other when someone close is hurting? How can we be more intuitive to our friends and new friends ? How can we help each other? God was the center of every session and solution to our struggles each of us have....
I often look @ God and think, why, why, why wasn't Jennifer healed? Why couldn't she stay here, she was so damn faithful and believed God was going to heal her....I was reminded that Jennifer was healed, just not the way I wanted....She is free now and She definitely wanted to be with "her daddy" as she referred God as. My perspective is changing - more positive I think. I'm trying hard not to blame, question so much, just work on acceptance.
All the above is a process, I know, and I don't have my mom or my daughter to walk it with me or say just that one thing that would calm me or make sense.. As Kala's mom said, I am realizing that Jennifer is alive and I see her more and more in my daily life. I miss her being here physically but I have you sisters to get me through as you are traveling ahead of me.
Almost a year - hard to believe. SIGH. BREATHE. SIGH. BREATHE
Have a great Friday - it's almost the week-end. YAY!!
Replies
Thanks for the update...I am grateful that you got to bask in God for awhile....thanks for my hug. Love, Lauri
Beautiful and so uplifting in every way. I\'ve been wondering how it was for you and feels as if it was an infusion of just what you needed.
TGIF my friend and yes, I do remember the students wearing me out too. Weekends always felt so very sweet.
Learning how to feel and live with our new reality that includes our children is indeed a work in progress and I have no doubt is one we will be working on for a lifetime. Thank goodness we are taking these steps with one another.
Love and hugs and always for your Jennifer,
XO Joanie
Working on acceptance of \"what is\".... definitely can be a challenge. Finding ways that are helpful for you & faith strengthening, is encouraging. Thank you for sharing your experience of hope with us. Hugs.....Vicki
I am so glad you were able to attend and found such value in the conference. And bonus - Jennifer was there to greet you!
Love and hugs,
Marlene
IT HAS BEEN 11 YEARS SINCE MY POOR DAUGHTER DIED. SHE HAD LUPUS FOR 15 YEARS (STILL KEPT WORKING. IN SO MUCH PAIN, I PRAYED AND PRAYED \"PLEASE GOD HELP MY DAUGHTER JUST A LITTLE WITH ALL HER PAIN, NEVER HAPPENED. THEN IN HOSPITAL 81 DAYS I CAN,T EVEN DISCRIBE THAT HORROR. AGAIN PRAYING AND THEY HAD A PRAYER SERVICE FOR ROZ. SHE FINELLY DIED.. I ACTUALLY GOD FORGIVE ME FELT RELIEVE FROM HER SUFFERING. I FELT SO GUILTY TO FEEL THAT WAY. I TALKED TO THE PRIEST WHO GAVE HER , HER LAST RIGHTS. HE SAID WHEN SOME ONE YOU LOVE IS SUFFERI N G SO MUCH AND DIES IT IS A RELIEVE I COULD NOT LOOK AT HER THE SUFFERING. GRIEF IS A LIFE TIME PROCESS.. I JUST GET UP EVERY DAY AND TRY TO LIVE MY EMPTY LIFE MY WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD EVERYONE ACCEPT A SISTER. I LOST MY FATHER, MOTHER (FOUND HER DEAD) AND MY BROTHER WAS KILLED IN FRONT OF ME. AND AT 23 IT WAS MY DAUGHTER AND ME I HAD MY HUSBAND, BUT IT WAS NOT HAPPY MARRIAGE. , i,AM SO SORRY I DID,NT MEAN TO GO OFF LIKE THAT. I JUST FEEL SO BAD WHEN I HEAR A MOM LOSSING HER CHILD . (1) YEAR IS NOT THAT LOG I WAS A MESS THE FIRST (2) YEARS BUT IT DOES GET BETTER . BUT WE NEVER STOP MISSING OUR CHILDREN. WHY WOULD WE WANT TOO?? OUR BABIES. YOU WILL HAVE JOY IN YOUR LIFE AGAIN BUT IT IS A LONG JOURNEY BUT BAD DAYS AND GOOD DAYS. BLESS YOUR ANGEL HUGS A ND LOVE MARY ANN
Everything I wrote disappeared so I will try again;
Your journal is very heart warming to me. I so hope you take the feeling of love and acceptance with you for your journey down this path we are on. It feels like you have taken so many steps forward.
Hugs Penny