Compulsive Spending
Along with all of my other disorders, I have an issue with compulsive behaviors... Not only was I prostituting myself for companionship, I spend money as if I have it... I am on disability with a very limited income... I go to food banks to have something to eat...
I have credit cards and use them for all sorts of purposes...
Interestingly enough, I have maxed out all of them spending on things I cannot remember buying and do not even have half of what I bought...
I have even used them to buy food... It's amazing how one can lose weight when they have nothing to eat...
I have begun to sell things on Craigslist to gain access to money...
It is another one of my Self Destructive Patterns so, therefore, my goal has now been brought down to zero once again...
I realize I am doing these things to feel better about myself and feel guilty afterwards...
It is a no-win situation, but at least, I am recognizing it little by little...
I have credit cards and use them for all sorts of purposes...
Interestingly enough, I have maxed out all of them spending on things I cannot remember buying and do not even have half of what I bought...
I have even used them to buy food... It's amazing how one can lose weight when they have nothing to eat...
I have begun to sell things on Craigslist to gain access to money...
It is another one of my Self Destructive Patterns so, therefore, my goal has now been brought down to zero once again...
I realize I am doing these things to feel better about myself and feel guilty afterwards...
It is a no-win situation, but at least, I am recognizing it little by little...
Replies
Realizing what you\'re doing wrong is the first step in doing better. I might freeze those credit cards (literally in the freezer) or cut them up so you can pay them off little by little without owing more by contining to use them. But there is nothing wrong with going to food banks when you\'re hungry. Just when you have money divide it up literally in piggy banks-bills-food- and a little bit for enjoyment
I called my bank and the credit help company this morning... The bank is willing to work with me and my payments will be lowered by 300.00 per month and directly paid to my bank by me instead of it being deducted by the consumer credit assistance program... I will have money starting the 3rd of next month... Oh My God... I am so grateful they are willing to work with me... I feel so relieved...
That was smart calling the bank for help and it\'s nice to hear they are willing to work with you. I agree with Annette, recognizing the behavior is the first step. I also found myself spending too much when depressed and usually have very little to show from it. Cleaning out and donating items a few years in a row finally opened my eyes.
What I finally did was create a spreadsheet tracking the cards and finance charges. For me, having a visual helps. So now, when I get the urge to spend spend spend I go back to the spreadsheet as a reminder. A few years ago I called the banks and asked them to stop adding credit to the cards!
I wish you luck digging yourself out and avoid falling back into the same behaviors. If you get the urge to spend, looks around at what you have first :-)
Thank you, nancydan for your feedback... Honestly, I have spent thousands of dollars and have no idea where it went... Goodness! I shall keep my Walmart card and my Debit card... All other cards are closed... What a relief!