Compass

  It's now been about 4 years since I've been working at the group home.  I don't know what it is but I feel that I have a lot in common with these people.  Maybe it's because I'm mentally ill too.  The work there is real challenging cause it's real physical and I sweat a lot.  However, when I am done, I feel like I'm on a cloud from the endorphins coursing through my body.  I guess I better keep this up if I want to continue to feel better!!!  I also guess I'm really lucky for having a job and a good boss as well.  Sometimes I fear I will lose the job if our company ever loses the contract on it but I also should learn to avoid being negative.  I have made a lot of progress since I was in the hospital back in April of 2012.  Back then I couldn't even breathe cause of all the anxiety.  I don't know if I was anxious because I was in the hospital or if I needed a change of medication..who knows?  I guess I should feel lucky to be out of the hospital.  Amil said he didn't want me anywhere near the hospital.  I think it's because a lot of the people there are violent.  Although I feel depressed sometimes I guess I should feel lucky.  Today was alittle rough this mourning with the anxiety but I made it through.  I really should keep telling myself I'm doing good.  I've stayed home all mourning and part of the afternoon for three days and that's very hard for me to do but I wanted to do it so I could save money, which I did, so I guess I've been successful.  I still can't believe I did it .