Comparing
My daughter had trouble getting into her FB account and when I got it going I saw pics from her dad. There is a whole series of him and his young girlfriend performing in a show together. I am upset at so many levels. She looks half his age. She had the gorgeous long hair I never had, she never had kids and is skinny and has long legs. They are doing this show together and I basically stopped acting while he did shows at night these last 7 years so someone was home with the kids at night. I am still home with the kids at night, most nights. He should be looking for a f/t job and instead keeps doing these fun, stipend projects. He still has not filed his papers and I did 2 months ago. He won't go in to see our attorney. I spoke to him at the curb (i avoid face to face whenever possible) before he picked up one of my girls and it escalated into why should I file? You've talked to people about me. You're an ass. If I am an ass, then why doesn't he want this divorce final? I am so down today. I have a little over $100 in my checking account right now and he keeps telling me HE has no money. I have all the bills- I had to get health insurance for my oldest for several hundred and then a high school bill just came in for $540 and he won't help because he is already giving me $250/month. I really do not know how I ever could have loved this man? How do I not let the OW and that relationship bother me? He is living this fantasy and I have all the reality of working f/t and trying to keep things going for my daughters. I have started eating ice cream again and I know that is no solution...I swam yesterday and am trying to get back into it, but I am 53 and not happy. How do I move on when he won't even pay his attorney fees? How do i not think about long legs and gorgeous hair?
Replies
IF I\'m reading this correctly, there is only ONE attorney involved at this point. Clearly, that isn\'t going to work. If you want to divorce this a$$hole, YOU are going to have to put some teeth into it. I say FILE FOR DIVORCE and have the necessary papers SERVED ON HIM. He will have a set number of days in which to respond. He will have little choice but to hire his own counsel or (if it is allowed in your state) defend himself. It sounds like you also need to have some temporary support orders put into place -- your attorney can handle this at the same time.
Forget about the OW for now - FOCUS ON YOU, the kids and your FINANCIAL SURVIVAL. Get tough! and GET MOVING!
Kathi is right. You can get temp. support until the divorce is final. You need to keep this atty. for yourself or find one just for you. But this must be done and now. Why don\'t you start on this tomorrow first thing.
Instead of comparing you need to get a little angry to motivate yourself to get moving towards that divorce.
I am talking to my attorney this week. I really do not want him to get his own attorney because he will be advised to go after alimony and I couldn\'t bear that. I have been told that I can proceed w/o him and so that is what I must do. I am getting $250/mo from him in c.s. and can expect no more. right now we have negotiated that I get a small amount over 50% of our assets, grudgingly, but it is there and I want to keep it that way. Hopefully my attorney will be able to move things along.
Kathi\'s right - go talk to your lawyer and file for divorce. Concentrate on you right now - not him and her. Just you and your kids.
He hasn\'t done anything because he has it good. He gets to go play. My H is doing the same thing. Supporting his whore (i\'m not as sweet as you are, i used to be) and Not supporting me. Has given me $700 in 10 months. I can\'t afford an attorney, and right now am glad that legal aide wouldn\'t help. Otherwise i wouldn\'t have a car. But...what Kathi says is correct, but every situation is diff. YOu have to decide what\'s good for you. I think that child support is bs. My son pays $400 a month for 1 child. Maybe you can put in the divorce that your spouse pay child support and 1/2 of all medical and school expenses on top of it. Bc child support is for food and housing. Right? I\'m just going by my son\'s situation. He seems to be more generous then others I hear about.
You cannot get water from a stone. It makes me sick but it doesn\'t bother stbx at all. He is quite comfortable doing odd jobs that he enjoys and NOT working f/t like he used to. My daughters know who is supporting them and paying everything. I have had to be very up front about it with them because they love all the perks like tv\'s, classes, clothes, etc like all of their friends and they know the bills are all mine. Their dad loves taking them out to dinner or to 6 Flags sometimes, but the day to day and long term things like insurance and college are all mine. He won\'t give a dime extra.