Comparing

My daughter had trouble getting into her FB account and when I got it going I saw pics from her dad. There is a whole series of him and his young girlfriend performing in a show together. I am upset at so many levels. She looks half his age. She had the gorgeous long hair I never had, she never had kids and is skinny and has long legs. They are doing this show together and I basically stopped acting while he did  shows at night these last 7 years so someone was home with the kids at night. I am still home with the kids at night, most nights. He should be looking for a f/t job and instead keeps doing these fun, stipend projects.  He still has not filed his papers and I did 2 months ago. He won't go in to see our attorney. I spoke to him at the curb (i avoid face to face whenever possible) before he picked up one of my girls and it escalated into why should I file? You've talked to people about me. You're an ass. If I am an ass, then why doesn't he want this divorce final? I am so down today.  I have a little over $100 in my checking account right now and he keeps telling me HE has no money. I have all the bills-  I had to get  health insurance for my oldest for several hundred and then a high school bill just came in for $540 and he won't help because he is already giving me $250/month. I really do not know how I ever could have loved this man? How do I not let the OW and that relationship bother me? He is living this fantasy and I have all the reality of working f/t and trying to keep things going for my daughters. I have started eating ice cream again and I know that is no solution...I swam yesterday and am trying to get back into it, but I am 53 and not happy. How do I move on when he won't even pay his attorney fees? How do i not think about long legs and gorgeous hair?