Communicate to eradicate the negative

My wife had a very simple rule when we met. "Do not tease me." She didn't like it, didn't see the sense in it, and it made her grumpy! I I, on the other hand, grew up being teased by brothers, and I did a fair amount of teasing myself. I think I teased at first because I saw how it got people's attention. Then, later in life, I joined a career where the teasing became critical (both to self and others) and sarcastic. I went to a dark place! Then, my lovely wife taught me to change my words, view my words, and live my words. Together we embarked on a journey to figure out how to communicate without the teasing, or negativity. Every time I THINK about a tease that pops in my head, I instead tell my wife something good about her. If it's someone else, I usually try to focus on something they are wearing or doing. I try to catch people in a "good deed." 

My beloved wife and I have been on this journey of better communications for a long time! We slip up at times and we are even short, or rude sometimes. But overall, we work daily on figuring out how to make every moment count. One simple rule we use is to tell each other what we love, not what we hate. We reinforce what we love, like, and want & need, versus focusing on the negative stuff.

I hope you try it and let me know how it goes. These morning thoughts of mine will undoubtedly take a spin around my head as it's the 4 and 5 am hours when I'm on here! I just really wanted to share this with you! Peace and love! 

Dr. Raskel