COMMENTS

After reading everyones comments, for the moms... I can't believe I haven't taken the time to journal.. I never was good with words or spelling, so I didn't bother. Now I started writting on wordpad, then I save it. Now I can start it, then go back to it later, I have lost so many comments from answering moms journals, it made me soooo mad, and frustrated, I found myself not wanting to write, I would feel paralyized, and not bother.. I would read moms Journals, then feel exhausted thinking about writting. I was afraid of losing it.. My computer is so sensitive .. I have been told many times to write my journals on wordpad.. BUT NOOOO, Kelly/me has to do everything the hard way!!!!! I still don't know much about computers. I'm getting better, only type with one finger,lol....I started the story about the Cruise I went on after Ryan died. I had a few messages from Ryan too. I'll try to finish it quick, like I said, I have a hard time putting words into a sentence's.. lol.. I like writting a little at a time, then I get up & do other things.. I can't do one thing at a time, I have to do alittle of this and a little of that..lol.. I love you all, even when we haven't met.. Isn't that cool! I never have experienced loving others without meeting them.. It is a Gift From God, Kelly
PS. I love hearing about your Coinicidences, and things that were said.. It helps me believe in a God.. It helps me believe things happen for a reason, even if I Don't Like IT!!! It helps me look at the other side of things..
In time we learn how to live without them in our lives...Every waken momment, in the morning, I don't like my life without Ryan in it, so I've trained my mind to believe Ryan is walking beside me, helping me through.. I talk to him all the time, he is in my heart & soul, the visions of his smile helps me to be happy... But if I dwell on it, I can go back into that dreadful deep black whole of despair...I can't go their..I'm so fearful of it.. its another thing I had to do, train my mind to chase it right out of there....