Coming to terms with my BFN
I am slowly coming to terms with my BFN, I still feel sad for that little embryo I saw on the screen and couldn't give the safe home to that it deserved.
I don't feel quite so bad about my chances of still having my miracle as I did, I honestly felt like that was it, the writing was on the wall I may aswell just quit now. I know I wouldn't ever give up like that but it all felt pretty hopeless which is basically how I felt when my cycle was delayed the first time and I guess it was silly and melodramatic then and still is a bit now!
I should try to think about it as one step closer to my miracle rather than one step further away, but I think I will struggle to be positive about the next cycle but maybe that will be good?
I am going to ring the clinic this week to let them know I am skipping this month and going for a replacement in March, and maybe ask her about doing a non medicated cycle.
I am trying to focus on losing some of the massive bulk I have put on in the last month but my body really doesn't feel ready just yet, I am still having my period so I feel too heavy and lazy for exercise, I will start with dieting a little. I am a bit worried about my diet for the next FET, this one I decided to do my best but not to put too much pressure on myself, however this meant that although I cut out caffeine and alcohol and tried to increase my vege and fruit, I still ate takeaways and cakes and stuff. I am worried I'll feel an enormous pressure to do better this time and cut out all my favourite things... I am dreading it but gonna do my best in the next month to get a bit more streamlined!
I don't feel quite so bad about my chances of still having my miracle as I did, I honestly felt like that was it, the writing was on the wall I may aswell just quit now. I know I wouldn't ever give up like that but it all felt pretty hopeless which is basically how I felt when my cycle was delayed the first time and I guess it was silly and melodramatic then and still is a bit now!
I should try to think about it as one step closer to my miracle rather than one step further away, but I think I will struggle to be positive about the next cycle but maybe that will be good?
I am going to ring the clinic this week to let them know I am skipping this month and going for a replacement in March, and maybe ask her about doing a non medicated cycle.
I am trying to focus on losing some of the massive bulk I have put on in the last month but my body really doesn't feel ready just yet, I am still having my period so I feel too heavy and lazy for exercise, I will start with dieting a little. I am a bit worried about my diet for the next FET, this one I decided to do my best but not to put too much pressure on myself, however this meant that although I cut out caffeine and alcohol and tried to increase my vege and fruit, I still ate takeaways and cakes and stuff. I am worried I'll feel an enormous pressure to do better this time and cut out all my favourite things... I am dreading it but gonna do my best in the next month to get a bit more streamlined!
Replies
Sorry about the bfn. Its so hard to stay posstive somethimes. Thinking of you.
I think you have a great plan to move forward. It\'s sooo very devastating when the first cycle doesn\'t work, but as long as there are embies left there is hope. I too put on quite a bit of weight from TTC and hormones, etc but how do you work on it while cycling when you can\'t do anythign vigorous during the 2ww? Don\'t cut out your favorite things, but plan days to have them. Like if you do really good eating healthy on Tuesday, you will get to have a donut for breakfast and a cupcake after dinner on Wednesday,and then do healthy again on thursday, etc. It will help cut it down, but give you something to look forward too as well. Good luck!
I\'m happy to hear that you are feeling better. I think looking at this BFN as one step closer is really great. I\'m going to steal that thought if you don\'t mind. It\'s great that you can see you need some time off too. I\'m sure you will feel much better when you are able to focus on your self for a while.
I agree with Nelly, no need to cut out everything \"bad\", just give yourself a limit and stick to it.
Your plan sounds great. Thinking about you friend :)