coming to terms

After much soul searching and meditating, I think I am at the place of acceptance. What makes me think I am anymore special than the next person in regards to my longevity, the fear was getting to me and I felt like my life was already over so why bother......but thats not me, I may not have quantity but i will have quality, thats my decision. My life is in flux and will most likely stay that way and I will deal with it as it comes. I have made the decision to see this head on no flinching come what may. I think I am finding my way back to my joy. I am sure there will still be dark days to come but I will see them through.
I tried an new acupuncturist yesterday and it seems like it might be a better fit, she is a physiotherapist and she said she is willing to do some research into my condition and see if she feels she can do me some good. We did a session and it was so different from the chinese medicine guy. It was very peaceful and relaxing and pain free. I could barely feel it when she came in to stimulate the pins....when my other guy would come in to do it i would be in a sweat by the time he was done and it was usually only 6 or 8 pins. I think I might give it a go and see what happens.
I had a great time with my daughter and the play was amazing. I even managed to do some walking around her neighbourhoood with out too much difficulty....we did cab it most of the time because I didnt want to get too worn out. we even went for a bra fitting....what a laugh. they told me I am a 38F.....I laughed out loud and said what like holy f**k. I think I will keep to my cheapy walmart bras, they fit just as good and dont hurt my wallet as much.
Hubby and I are going to Toronto on the weekend for a alternative health expo, check out what new stuff is being hyped and see whats what....something to do anyway. I'll let you all know if I find a miracle cure or two....

Replies

oxfordns
oxfordns

I really appreciate your journal entry...you are an amazing woman. Any of us who have potenially life threatening ilness have ups and downs. I so well understand your question in the sense...why NOT me\" as opposed to why me. None of us are guaranteed longevity..we all want to live to a ripe and fruitful old age but we don\'t all get to do that. Every day in the obituary columns I see people younger than me, so why not me. I\'m not \"special\"...... Of course I want to be around for as long as I can...but that is out of our hands. You are a great lady.....enjoy every minute (as you seem to be reconciled to doing.................... and please forgive my typing!!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user

So glad you had a wonderful time with your daughter. I like the way you paced yourself. Smart thinking. I didn\'t know there was an alternative health expo in Toronto. Where is it going to be. I\'m in Mississauga (beside Toronto) for a craft show. That may be a good idea for me to check in.
Bra fitting... lol I did one too, she was way out on my size. 38F too!! I\'ll stick with my Playtex 18 hour bra. Sooo comfy.
If |I don\'t talk to you before the weekend. Have fun at the expo.

Hugs and love Nance
SleepyT
SleepyT

I very much admire your decision to live the life that you do have as well as you possibly can. I\'m so glad you had a wonderful time with your daughter, I know I love spending time with mine.
Take good care,
Teisha
deleted_user
deleted_user

Wow. Sounds like you did have a good session. I can\'t wait til you get that floaty feeling, it took me a couple of months but my practitioner uses over 100 pins on me. She said she likes pins and I believe her. lol I\'m glad you searched for someone else. Your attitude and proactiveness (is that a word?) will get you thru this, I\'m sure of it.


Glad you got to have fun with your daughter, I know that was a concern for you. I admire your tenacity and your love of life. You are a great friend and I\'m sending all the loving healing energy I can muster. Kim
deleted_user
deleted_user

Thank God!! We are all making the choice to do the very best we can, despite our disabilities. It sounds like we all in for the duration, whatever that may be. I\'m so grateful for you all. God Bless! Love, Jean
deleted_user
deleted_user

so glad you enjoyed time with daughter. I am glad u have succh a god attitude too. hugs and prayers marilyn