Coming Home......
So strange, it's been a very long time since I've been in daily strength and I find myself asking why.. This site helped so much when my wife was I'll. How could I have forgotten it.
Well, 16 Idays after her death 2.5 years ago was my first try at suicide using drugs and alcohol. Didn't know at the time that was my intention, not until I "came to" in the drunk tank of the Lane County Sheffif's office did I realize that. You don't drink a half gallon of vodka, then take a handful of Benzos, grab pint of gin and load up in you car to drive half way across the state to visit friends. Not a real smartmove for a recovering drug addict. I began my journey in recovery back in 1984.
This was the first of many tragic decisions made over the last 2 years. Somehow, I managed to survive, God knows I shouldn't have, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed about that or not. Hopefully Journaling some of it will bring a bit of clarity.
Any way, enough belly aching..now to the point of this post. It's just to say hello to all and hope some of you are still out thre in cyberspace. It's really strange, this feeling I have of coming home. It's been a long hard nasty road I've been on and just now after 2.5 years from my beautiful wifes demise at the hands of her disease do I feel a tiny bit of sanity returning.
Hopefully being here once more will help me get the next bit of sanity a bit sooner.
So strange, it's been a very kg time since I've been in daily strength and I find myself asking why.. This site helped so much when my wife was I'll. How could I have forgotten it.
Nighty night ...........
Well, 16 Idays after her death 2.5 years ago was my first try at suicide using drugs and alcohol. Didn't know at the time that was my intention, not until I "came to" in the drunk tank of the Lane County Sheffif's office did I realize that. You don't drink a half gallon of vodka, then take a handful of Benzos, grab pint of gin and load up in you car to drive half way across the state to visit friends. Not a real smartmove for a recovering drug addict. I began my journey in recovery back in 1984.
This was the first of many tragic decisions made over the last 2 years. Somehow, I managed to survive, God knows I shouldn't have, I'm not sure if I'm disappointed about that or not. Hopefully Journaling some of it will bring a bit of clarity.
Any way, enough belly aching..now to the point of this post. It's just to say hello to all and hope some of you are still out thre in cyberspace. It's really strange, this feeling I have of coming home. It's been a long hard nasty road I've been on and just now after 2.5 years from my beautiful wifes demise at the hands of her disease do I feel a tiny bit of sanity returning.
Hopefully being here once more will help me get the next bit of sanity a bit sooner.
So strange, it's been a very kg time since I've been in daily strength and I find myself asking why.. This site helped so much when my wife was I'll. How could I have forgotten it.
Nighty night ...........
Replies
Hi Sebbo
I\'m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you, because I know what it\'s like watching the one you love deteriorate from such a horrible illness...absolutely heartbreaking.
I just joined DS about a month ago, after my husband passed in March. He struggled with addiction for many years, and was trying to stay clean, but the damage was already done. I was in the process of trying to get him home when he died in the hospice from liver disease caused by cirrhosis and complicated by Hep C.
I\'m glad you are doing better...and so far, this site had been a big help to me...a Godsend, really. Take care,
Wendi
Sabby,
Today is a new day. You have survived a lot if trials, to say the least. You are. In a safe place here. You will keep going, in spite of this journey. Robbie was truly a precious gem. Thank you , you have encouraged me today!
Sandra
Sebbo
Sharing your story and pain and coming home to this site is such a big positive brave step....keep coming here and know we all care about you and your journey to heal.....
Patricia
Welcome back home. Tiger
Seb . . totally understand!! I have a dear friend that basically was doing the same self medicating to the point of nearly destroying his life and health. He\'s clean and sober now and making great strides toward living a more positive and fulfilling life. It sounds like you are also! As for me, I still like to self-medicate with wine, not so much with the drugs. It\'s a hard pattern to break for sure. We do the best we can with what we are given. Be gentle with self and know that today is a new day with new choices. Welcome back! Hugs, Dayna P.S. Thanks for sharing your story.