Comforts Lost

Another memory set I am on the verge of trusting are those of being very nearly a feral child. Fifth of eleven in a highly dysfunctional family... I felt mostly invisible to the world then. Still do. I even take joy in the delusion at times. I try to remember it is a delusion before the cops are dragging me off for embarrassing proofs to the contrary.
The feral child memory set tells me that after a trauma, such as being hog tied and thrown in a closet for a day or three, my instinct had me running out the door and into the fields at the first opportunity. Nature's night creatures did not frighten me. Events under the demon eyes (electric lights) were what terrified me.
The blanket of stars was my great comfort.
Still I run to the comforts of nature when I am hurt. Still I love to sit outside when I cannot sleep. The stars are no longer there to comfort me. The demon eyes (electric lights) have drown them in their shadows.
And life goes on...