Come and go....

The brief time with my kids has come and passed.  I got them from 6 pm Saturday to 6pm Sunday.  As always we had a great time.  All three kids are so attention starved.  No big issues just that I can tell they would like to spend far more time with me than they can.  It was over way to soon.  I do pray that I will get them more in the future.  They really need there dad time. Divorce hearing next week on Wednesday. At this point I ready for this two year long process to be over.  I am praying that the court will grant me a generous amount of visitation.  That is the only big thing I care about.  As for the finances, God willing, that will improve over time.  I have learned in the last couple of years how important it is just to be there for my kids regardless of how often i get to see them.  It really is not the amount of time but what you do with it.  I have also learned that it really doesn't matter what you do with the kids, but the fact that you are doing it with them.  I had to start packing up my apartment this weekend and I think the kids had more fun going through things and packing them up with me than watching a movie together.  My boy wanted to help me do everything like cooking, cleaning up the storm damage at my mothers house, it didn't matter.  He just wanted to be with his dad.  He has told me and his mother that he wants to live with me.  I hope at some point he can.  I am still actively working my AA program.  I chaired the meeting Friday night again.  I want to make sure that my home group is always accessible for those who are tired of drinking and want learn a new way of life.  It seems that learning to live without drinking is only the first part of life long journey, learning to live life on "life's tems" is the difficult part. How often in the past I would have begun drinking on any of the things that has happened. Even the heart break of dropping of the kids would fuel a drinking binge. Not today, I am still learning to deal with my feelings, but more important, i am learning healthy ways to deal with them.  God willing, blessed serenity will return.