Colonoscopy today and zero anxiety

 
Today I went for my colonoscopy and thank God, they didn't find a thing except a few hemmorhoids (no surprise there). The thing is that this is the FIRST time since I was a little girl that I went for anything medical and wasn't a complete basketcase. I did not have anxiety. I did not feel panic. I haven't changed my medication and I haven't been taking the full dose lately either. So that can't account for it.
 I have been doing a guided meditation tape nightly for about 6 weeks now where I have been working on my relaxation. I think that has helped a lot.
 
I have also been praying a lot lately and reading and studying Scripture a lot too. But, not in the old way I used to do out of fear or worry or trying to get God to be "happy" with me so nothing bad would happen to me (sort of a bargaining type thing). I have been coming at it all from a different angle. Just trust and love. Love and trust with no expectations except that is what I am supposed to do, so no matter what happens --it is in God's hands.
I hope I don't sound too preachy, but I think that is what has really changed in my life. I still have OCD and an anxiety/panic disorder, but they don't have me. Even when the gastroenterologist told me I would need a colonoscopy after I described my symptoms, I was shocked that she wanted to do a colonoscopy--I thought she would just tell me I had hemmorhoids--I didn't panic. Honestly, I did feel a bit of anxiety, because why would she want to do further testing if there was no concern, but I didn't feel that overwhelming FEAR that used to grip me.
I know I have a lot of growing to do and I can't let my guard down and think I'm "cured", but I do now have a security and comfort that I have never had before and it is so awesome. I could have spent the past two weeks in anxiety agony and wasted my time with that, when there was nothing wrong, but I was able to just live the past two weeks and get through it and it has been such a blessing.
I know it's easier said than done, because I have been praying and reading Scripture for years, but something finally "clicked" and I can do all things "through Christ who strengthens me".
 
I hope all my friends who suffer from anxiety will be able to find this comfort.