Coat
Hello SOTH's - it's Sunday night here in sunny southern california and I am wanting to write a bit - I hope you all are making it day by day and just know all of you are never far from my heart.
There is a teacher at my school whose son was tragically killed in a forklift accident @ his work. Jordyn is 19, this happened in August. - Nadine has 2 other sons and is married. (her husand is not doing well - he was the superintendent of the job their son was killed so he is in the middle of the blame game, which can be brutal!! I check on her every couple of days during her prep period - the other day I was talking with her and I apologized for taking her prep period and she said, the day always brings me what I need and I needed to talk with you!
In talking with her this week, she told me her family went to the lake to try and have a nice week-end but she said, " my grief is like a coat I am wearing, it feels very heavy right now , no matter where I go, I am constantly wearing this coat!!" Tears came to my eyes because that's exactly what it often feels like!! I told her the coat will become lighter, but yes, our new normal is definitely different. I'm so glad I am @ work with her and can check on her to just listen! AS we all know, it's a tough journey and @ times I don't even feel capable of helping anyone else. Keep this mom in your prayers. When the time is right, I will tell her of you all and what a support you are!
Hunter has started jr college this fall - he is doing well so far. Hunter is a great kid and I love our weekly guitar "fun"......
Jim is in Arizona this holiday weekend - I stayed home. I re-generate by alone time and I'm so hoping to re-generate....I'm so tired most of the time. I am having a stress test this week because I have been having feelings of being short of breath - don't know if it's anxiety or something else.....anyway - this WEdnesday, I'll be all hooked up on a treadmill - yay!
Well, I'm looking forward to my holiday tomorrow!! A day off is always awesome.
Sending hugs & lots of love!!!!! Vicki, always Jennifer's mom
Replies
Oh, your poor friend is really on a horrible road now! I will pray for her and her husband. It is wonderful that you are there for her, taking her hand and walking this bitter road with her. We start off being moms of angels, and gradually we become "Angel Moms" to others who land on this road. Have a blessed day, my dear friend! xxx
I remember you posting about the tragedy on FB (I think this is whom you were speaking of). What a sad and horrible situation. My prayers for sure. What a gift you are to this mom; just to check in and listen....well, there's no "just" to it....it's what we all need, someone caring enough to check in and really listen. We can all understand the heaviness of the "coat" we wear. And you're right, it gets lighter as we move through our grief, but it's hard to imagine it's possible in those early months. You are shining a light on her path and giving her hope. That's HUGE!
Enjoy your regenerate day! I need those quiet days too, but today I'll have 22 peeps for a pool party, cookout....won't be very quiet, LOL!
Continued prayers for Hunter too, and I'm so glad to hear he's doing well!
Love you! See you SOON!
Teri
It is so.
sad that another Mom has joined our journey of loss. I know you will keep her under your wing and be there when needed. I am glad Hunter is doing good. They tend to grow up and amaze us
Hugs
Penny
"Who heals the healer?" This is what came into my heart as I read your journal. Always when in relationship such as you are with Nadine, you are both giving and receiving just what is needed. Isn't it amazing how that happens? I have never thought of the image of grief feeling like a coat and yes, it's one that I can totally relate to. It felt like a dark shroud in those early days, weeks and months and now a decade later it feels more like a scarf. One I can wrap and envelop myself and one that can be worn more loosely now with even some breathing room and the ends blowing in the wind so to speak.
I know you are a sister of the heart to your friend and what a tragic experience to be living into for her dear family. I'm so sorry.
Loving care dear Vicki and it feels as if this weekend just for you is what has been and IS needed. So delighted too to hear how Hunter is doing. He's making his way just as you are and those weekly times together are the best, I know.
XO Joanie
Dear Vicki,
Praying for this Mom & thinking of the journey she faces. She's blessed to have you there & you will help to light her way.
I know you're so proud of Hunter as he starts jr. college. I bet he'll do great there. He is an awesome young man!
Hope your day off ( & long weekend) help re-generate you to the max. Good luck with your stress test Wed. Hoping it won't be too hard on you. I once had to take a chemical stress test which was scary, because it mimics a heart attack.
Looking forward to seeing you in Nashville soon!!
Love & Hugs to Jennifer & you from Charlie & me, Donna
Tragic about your friend...parts remind me of my son's passing...on the job, accident, 19 years of age....and her analogy is spot on...
Prayers for your medical testing. I had to have same thing....always felt my heart racing or someone sitting on it....ANXIETY. Still have it
but have learned how to deep breathe and other bio-feedback techniques...to help clear my mind.
See you in Nashville,
AnnM
Oh how I remember how my heart felt and still feels when someone close to me has such a loss. Your friend is fortunate to have you take her hand during this awful time. My prayers are with you both. Please take care of yourself dear Vicki. As a nurse, you are such a caregiver and I am glad you are taking the time to take care of yourself. I am glad to hear Hunter is doing well and that you share fun activities.
Much love and many prayers,
Leda
What an apt description...a heavy coat we can't take off...
My heart aches for your friend and her family...
When she's ready hopefully she can reach out to FMO
Hugs and love and prayers
maryLou