court

Last Friday we went to court for the pretrial.  They discussed evidence and then of course post poned it for June 13.  How can I make it until June 13?  My husband and his sister stood up and he was in a suit with a fresh haircut and looked like a movie star.  He is so handsome although it's very ugly to me too in a way, I appreciate what others are seeing, but I see him for what he really is.  They all talked with the judge but as I sat in the back nearest the exit I could hardly hear, so when all was over, I waited for the DA and she was glad I came and stayed to talk to her.  His defense is this:  1.  If my daughter truly was molested than it was by his 8 year old autistic son who slept with my daughter when he came for visitation. (not true, he had his own bed) My autisitic step son would have been 6 when this started or perhaps even 5 years old and would anybody think that my daughter wouldn't know the difference between an innocent child who is so sweet and so loving and so easily told what to do, (unless in a fit) and that of a 38 year old man?  And on 10 different occassions or more?  Not to mention the fact that my husband is actually serving up his own son in order to save himself!  Defense 2.  I wanted a divorce and I've concocted this plan and manipulated my daughter into this lie and wove this evil web to gain .....something?  Not sure what I am getting from this besides two well after court make that 3 nervous breakdowns, practically bankrupt now that I can't hardly work, take off so much time to go to therapy, appts., wear and tear on the car, heavy duty meds now too, and suicidal tendencies enough where my daughters therapsit told me she'd turn me in if I didn't get back in to therapy and I could lose all my kids., I've lost my beautiful home that I paid to redecorate as I now live at mom and dad's and most of the time sleep on a floor.  Oh and of course the one that beats all, my daughter  wants to move to her dad's house in louisiana to try and start over.  Let's not forget that I've actually lost two of my kids since my son wants to go with her and forget this and not have to live with a mom who cries all the time and stays hidden in the upstairs den and does nothing but come on daily strength.  As I sit and you sit and read this you may think there is no jury alive who would buy any of his lies right?  Wrong.  Apparently the DA says that there are jurors who don't want to believe thse things happen so much to the point where they will vote "not guilty" in order for them to continue on with their lives.  So here we are.  My step daughters still have not come forward to admit to what he's done to them so it falls on us and in California the DA says, without more than one victim, it's not good.  I broke down this weekend again.  I think Jon is counting on me going crazy and not making it through this so my daughter will end up not being able to testify against him either.  I'm doing this to stop him.  I'm doing this to protect another child or children from him.  I have to remember.  To my friends, remind me of that when I'm down.  Remind me of why I'm walking in Hell.