Club Phobia

Anxiety and frustration are running high this morning as I face week two of the unjusted job of hiring a crew to remove the debris pile from the property so I can be on my way to Grand Time. The week long string of failure to connect on any of the e-just options has carried my lonely ache for family to obsessive levels. Starting week two of the effort with no clear focus for the hunt has me feeling like a big city refugee in a small town stereotype. The temptation to just it all and just leave it while I head to Texas is growing. I seem to be the only one bothered by it.


Again, the security light trigger assaults my senses as I attempt to get a grip here in my predawn meditations. Continuing yesterday's mindfulness exercise. I may go for the more standard solution of dropping the blinds. No, I donae like caring for curtains, but the blinds came with the house. They donae block the security lights as effectively as the blackout curtains I use in motels, but their slatted shadows are easier to assimilate than the macabre shadows of the houses, trees, etc., of a populated area.


Yesterday's nutritional intake was greatly improved. Sleep adequate but restless. Dream theme of the night was of defending Persilly from . . . just about everything. Not nightmares, but borderline intense. Persilly slept noisily, also.

Replies

nancy6464
nancy6464

Triple hugs. Still crossing fingers for grand time to commence soon.
arfie
arfie

3x(((Nancy)))

For now, I have given up on finding help moving the pile. Whatever the yaddahs to the blahs, I am so hungry for progress on the job that I am tackling the job by my 63 year old lonesome with my beat up old pick up for hauling. At worst, physical labor helps me clear my mind.

I even remembered to pause for breakfast. Cream of wheat.
RealHeart
RealHeart

I hope you can feel better soon. Kitty Hugs to you today.
nancy6464
nancy6464

You know, sometimes we just have to do it ourselves. I so get that. triple hugs of admiration and continued good luck wishes to get you home to the family. xo