Closing chapters, opening doors

Closing chapters, opening doors. I am so excited for my coworker to return who I have been filling in for at this temporary job as community college operator for the last two months.  It feels good to be helpful and useful and resourseful and just to leave her notes of thanks and catching up on what's new at work.  It is my last day here.  I mean the work has been phenomenally good for me.  I have this beautiful view out glass walls and I have this huge desk and this isolated section of this building where everyone else is crammed in and I have spaciousness and privacy. I finished the last night at my new part time position at a different community college in a learning lab and I will be welcome back in the future if something comes up for me.  I will look forward to having more hours to sleep as the last 4 weeks I have been short on sleep due to working early and late.  I stayed open at work late last night because a girl needed to pass a typing test to graduate and as far as we knew last night was the last chance.  She was one word per minute away!  That was the best she could do.  My heart goes out to her.  I hope they let her retake it or something. The work has been so good for my confidence.  About a month ago my part time job of 3 years became an on call position and I may not hear from them until June if then.  That job was good for me at that time it just is better to have something a little better so I am glad things are working out. I am excited to put a temporary mouse on my hair to do something fun with color (I have black and red, I think I'll do black on my dark blonde/light brown hair).  I'll be working at a college radio station and I don't have to be as conservative.  I am tired of the more business casual look, though in a way it is good for work, I just don't "feel" it for me. I have this little doggie I just love.  I had time to bathe him last night.  I have not had enough time for him.  He just loves being clean and fluffy (he looks a little bit like an adult version of the puppy picture I have on my avatar).  Little Bunny (dwarf rabbit) is who the ex got me for Easter (I found a rabbit roaming the street a week later.  I surprised him with it and so now he is happy to have one too!  He named it "Rounder" because I found him/her wandering 'round).  Mom wanted to name her Bunny Love which I liked, but she changed her mind because she is not so affectionate.  There has been a lot of trying to chase her after she is let out to cage her, anyway enough of that.  I could never catch her.  It doesn't build a good relationship we both agreed.  Anyway she is cute and we finally let her just be wild bunny in the backyard, uncaged.  She is ok with that the last week. She has access to her cage if she wants.  I mean rabbits are not as accustomed to being pets as dogs, they instictively see us as predators.  So chasing is not a good idea.  But caging her is not what I had in mind.   I had envisioned a little soft white bunny roaming the yard a year ago after my ex and I visited an animal farm and I pet the softest little rabbit. Then we found doggie and he met that need for a pet.  Bunny is very "ornamental" among the grass and flowers (Mom is quite the gardener).  She loves chewing and eating the plants.  Bunny and Doggie get along, though at first I think she got a little scared with being chased.  We told Doggie no and he understands to be gentler now.   Mom named Doggie Einstein because of his unruly hair.  I call him Puppy or Doggie or Pookie.  A friend rescued him and was moving so we were going to keep him until he got adopted, then we adopted him.  Actually we asked for him back after we gave him to the gardener.  Dad said he's a good dog and we made a mistake in giving him away.  He is online gambling 24/7 and I guess we just didn't fill him in beforehand.  The gardener was ok with it.  He was so hungry when we brought him home.  He actually ran away the very first night we had him because we were still attempting to get the gate secure.  Some people found him and contacted us through the pound and returned him a few days later after we'd given up.  My friend who found him was big on pet adoption events.  I was so suprised mom said yes to letting us take care of him.  He is the baby in our family and meets many of our maternal needs. We have had doggie a year and now w/ bunny there is a concern because of coyotes having been in our backyard in the past.  I figure if she's happy out and unhappy in her cage why not give her a chance at a happy life even if it is a bit more dangerous.  Hopefully all will be ok.  We let doggie sleep inside at night. So no word from the ex since I asked him to leave me alone.  I am seeing how much in my path of spirituality how we are just so far apart, and we didn't used to be.  He has changed and so have I.  I am proud of myself for putting up a boundary of no contact because it is too easy to get sucked in.  I was in a sexual situation I shouldn't have been in as things got worse between us.  It's like I still had that sex hook.  It doesn't break easily.  That intimacy developed between us as a result of friendship and closeness and love and trust.  Much of that just desintegrated.  It no longer felt safe yet I had to learn to listen to my discomfort and start acting on it. My self esteem got worse and worse while putting up with him.  Getting into counseling and coming here to DS and getting progressively more distance from him and getting decent jobs helped me to start to want to take better care of myself.  I mean I have lived my life often putting my relationships before taking care of myself which was not good for my self esteem.  So although it was a rocky road at least I am where I need to be. I am thinking of taking myself to the Rennaisance Fair tomorrow to walk around and sight see and people watch and shop. and eat.  It will be my first time there sober.  No mead (honey wine) or dark beer for me! (God willing)  That used to be part of the attraction.  I can go and treat myself and "spoil" myself as someone here has reminded me I can do at this time.  I'm a little nervous about going alone.  I do have a friend (sober too) who may want to go.  I'll call him just in case.  I often prefer going places alone.  I have interests I don't always share with my friends.  I guess I am just "overly independent" in some ways as I used to tell my ex.