CLOSET in Heart #2

Well, God gets His voice in to you if you really want to listen and yes, it's a still small voice so you do have to have quiet time. Laying on my sick bed with a virus, well, you got a lot of quiet time to be still and LISTEN.  You're sort of a captive audience, eh? LOL Seriously, this virus hit last week, let up for a couple days and has returned twice as bad.  I just crawled out of bed and had been there since yesterday!  Still, I am in scrubs and trying not to die as I type.  But you must know what I learned! As I lay in the bed hoping to "die" with this virus, I was watching TV & kinda dozing in & out. Then, right on time, the Lord shows up.  He's got me cornered, where can you go when you are "dieing"?  He said, "Jackie, you've been doing a lot of complaining."  This got my attention.  I didn't reply as He definitely had my name and location! lol He continued.  "You are constantly stating how much you hate this place you live.  Why? Doesn't my word say I know the plans I have for you (Jerm 29:11)? Doesn't my word say a man's steps are ordered by the LORD; (Prov 20:24)? Don't you believe I am God and know what is best and am in control of everything?"  To all this, I was as Job, I sat silent.  I was shown in my HEART's CLOSET the deep root of SELFISHNESS.   We recognize selfishness in kids easily when they don't share toys, but what about us? Selfishness breeds ingratitude, rudeness, pride, and grumbling.  I saw that all too clearly and it was NOT pretty.  Selfishness is an ugly seed that shows up in many forms.  Just look at the above!  One sin leads to many! INGRATITUDE!  How dare I tell God, "Your plan isn't good enough. I want something else!"  If one of my kids did that, man, not only would I be hurt when I had given them what I knew was my best, but they'd be in trouble.RUDENESS!  Just look at the above attitude!  God's best well thought out specially chosen life plan for me isn't good enough to meet my standards?  Who am I that I see the beginning of my life to the end?  Who am I to see who's going to need my talents, gifts & time where I live and when?PRIDE!  Yep, you got it.  Pride goes before a fall, as God tells us in His word.  If you're not sure I was prideful, read the above attitudes.  If you still don't get it, "God, I'm smarter than you and I need to be somewhere better."  Got it now? Pride breeds into rebellion which the Bible calls witchcraft.  Yep, witchcraft. That is basically us trying to call the shots instead of submitting!GRUMBLING!  Yes, all the above attitudes explode forth like a volcano in grumbling.  If you think grumbling isn't a sin, look back at the children of Israel in the wilderness.  These VERY SAME ATTITUDES is what kept them out of the Land of Canaan and wondering in the wilderness. Instead of God's bounty (Land of milk & honey) they CHOSE the wilderness with just enough of God to get by. Yes, peeps, after my silence, I quickly reviewed all God had shown me about myself and repented.  I hate knowing that I flung God's best gifts specially chosen for me by Him back into His face!  God forgive me, in Jesus' name!  How dare I? So, yes, I shall be watching my tongue and working with the help of the Holy Spirit to bridle my tongue and not grumble as well as changing my attitudes to reflect the wondrous prosperity God has been so gracious and loving and kind to GIVE me.  Stay tuned....it's gonna be life changing....and isn't that what we really want?  A better life? Hugs & love, my peeps.