CLOSET in Heart #5
OK, well, now that we (God & I) have went over the SELFISHNESS, SURRENDER, PRAY issue, He's moved onto the lovely topic of PRIDE that resides in the closet in my heart. No, again, not a pretty object..... I found myself this morning being very smug & judgmental....sort of a looking down my nose with the attitude of "Great! how stupid and nonsensical can human beings be?" Man, did the Holy Spirit grab me quick!!! I immediately thought, "is this selfishness that God's been working on me with?" I didn't think so as that term didn't quite fit, so I continued to think....what would this thing be called? Jealousy? No. Anger? Not exactly but I was definitely irked by the lack of intelligence and the overwhelming urge to smack the person on TV. Yes, THANK GOD the person was on TV! LOL But still, what IS THIS EMOTION/ATTITUDE I was having? I kept going thru all the emotions I could think of and especially the ones God had shown me were the fruits of SELFISHNESS....that's when it hit me.....SELFISHNESS breeds PRIDE which is one of the things God had shown my in my closet. I was so struck as to what this meant!!! How can I help anyone if I am condemning them, judging them, being PRIDEFUL thinking I am better than they are simply because they are different and not doing as I would do? KEEP IN MIND GOD HAS CALLED ME INTO MINISTERIAL CHRISTIAN COUNSELING! I understand NOW why that has been slowed down in achieving my accreditation as HOW CAN I HELP ANYONE WHEN I'M NOT FIXED MYSELF? God's good isn't He? This is called my Preparation time so I can truly do as He has called me to do. Oh, make no mistake, I am not a cruel or callous person who does not sympathize & understand. MY FLAW is stupid people. I HAVE -0- TOLERANCE FOR STUPIDITY AND THIS IS ANOTHER REASON I HATE THE AREA I LIVE! Now, I am not talking ignorance.....ignorance is "I don't understand, teach me." Stupidity is "I'm dumb, glad I'm dumb and no just fix my problem and take care of me." Understand the difference? ANYWAY, still, there are going to be people who do not want TRUE HELP that come to me for MINISTERIAL CHRISTIAN COUNSELING, they just want someone to dump on and fix it for them. So, God has shown me, this is PRIDE on my part and must be gotten rid of in my heart and attitude. I need to look at people as you can either help them or not. IF NOT, to let it go with out it bearing bad attitude within me and my heart. Also, to just KINDLY tell that person, "I'm sorry, I can't help you if you will not help yourself." This is confronting and acting in love not PRIDE. Still, I am watching my words more closely to stay away from saying things that would plant the seeds of SELFISHNESS and NEGATIVITY thereby breeding more PRIDE, etc. Look what God's word has to say about PRIDE (the opposite of pride is HUMILITY): 2Ch 32:26 Notwithstanding Hezekiah humbled himself for the pride of his heart, both he and the inhabitants of Jerusalem, so that the wrath of Jehovah came not upon them in the days of Hezekiah. Ps 73:6 Therefore pride is as a chain about their neck; Violence covereth them as a garment. Pr 8:13 The fear of Jehovah is to hate evil: Pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, And the perverse mouth, do I hate. Pr 11:2 When pride cometh, then cometh shame; But with the lowly is wisdom. Pr 13:10 By pride cometh only contention; But with the well-advised is wisdom. Pr 29:23 A man's pride shall bring him low; But he that is of a lowly spirit shall obtain honor. Who wants what PRIDE has to offer? Not me. God loves me no matter what, but He loves me too much to let me continue on the wrong pathway without correction. This, I think, shall be harder for me than to watch my tongue and find something good about the area I live. I keep praying now for God to let me see this area as He does and send those who need my help into my path with the wisdom to know how to help. YEP, gotta get rid of Pride and really strive for humility. Humility, as you can see above in the last verse obtains honor. I'm sure the honor is from God as human beings generally consider humility a sign of weakness. HOWEVER, in reality, humility = great strength under control . Jesus was humble and let's be honest, He didn't have to take anything that was dished out to Him. On the cross He could have called the angels in Heaven down to spare Him, yet, He didn't. Is this not the greatest sign of great strength under control? OK, my peeps. Stay tuned. I can't say I am enjoying the lessons God is showing me about myself as the image in the mirror isn't pretty. But, you can't wipe the dirt off your face if you are never shown it is there. For that I AM thankful for the good kind of pain. Hugs & best wishes, my peeps!
Replies
Hey, got your call. Thanks for caring! I know I have been out of touch; first traveling then puter down so, now, not ready to be chatty. As I read from your notes, God and I are doing some \'talking, whining, etc\"...ok, I am doing those things and He listens. Still not over, the \'it\'s not fair\' place. But, my husband reminded me I have been here a year now and time to move on. Went to main doctor, set me up for quite a busy week of pelvic sutff,....between us, 41 is way to old to be wearing depends, and I am not meaning #1.So, fasting for test tomorrow and the following week, all day test with this radioactive things that then get scans every 15 minutes.
I gotta go. One thing for sure, Contemp Christian music is playing over and over again in my head and radio which is what is pushing me thru another day.
I do thank God for you! I feel so isolated lately and well, I need prayers.
Deanna
To get rid of pride I have found I must identify with all of humanity. I am truly no better than any one else. God loves all of us, the good the bad the ugly the pretty. I have nothing to be proud of. All that I am comes from God, if I am proud of anything it is that I am His.
I do find myself getting all prideful and judgemental at times, that is when I remind myself that God loves those (stupid) people just as He loves me. The difference? I know it and receive His Grace, those poor people just don\'t know it yet!
Deanna, love, been where you are and KNOW THIS.....you will, not maybe, but YOU WILL come out on the other side of these emotions/situations and will be better for it. No, it\'s not an easy journey, but neither is getting to the heights of any mountain! The valley \"sucks\" but that is where we learn best about our Heavenly Father, who we are, and what needs to be let go of. Hugs & love, sweetie. Let me know about the results via a message.....Will be praying.
Thanks, Nan. God got me bright & early.....MAN! This closet is so much deeper than I thought! Things I thought were gotten rid of ages ago or \"settled\" are now AGAIN, being brought back to my remembrance. Every time I think I\'m passed my past (childhood), it smacks me again. But this spot (childhood) was a seed planted at about age 4-5(?) and the roots run deep showing up in weird places & ways.....Love & hugs.
Seems like our childhood feelings are the deepest of all. I try to take them out and examine them as an adult, not as the \"feelings\" that little girl had. It helps.
Emotional baggage..... man, am I looking forward to the day God keeps it for good. It\'s a load I don\'t like, too many reminders, too much hurt, too much heaviness, too much everything....Hugs & love
Inner healing is one of the greatest gifts that God will give us if we let Him. I hate crying too, but somehow those tears are so healing. Love and prayers girl,
Nan
There\'s an old song called \"TEARS ARE A LANGUAGE, GOD UNDERSTANDS\". Grams used to have it play at her house.....Grams is the one who really taught me a lot about God. I\'m trying to pass that on to my grandson, Joshua, as I am the only Christian influence in his life. Not to sound HOLIER THAN THOU but I hope you get the drift.......If I don\'t teach him, who will?