Cleaning House

It's funny, a clean house was never that important to me.  I mean, accept it has to be clean enough not to have the health department down on me, but as for spotless?  Pristine?  Nope not gonna happen in this lifetime.   Still when I know my friend is stopping by, I find myself fussing.  I'll just clean the bathroom, I say.  Then I'll rest.  I'll just sweep the floor, then I'll read.  I'll just reorganize the cupboards!  As if my friend cares a flying flip about my cupboards or even the state of my house.  I know she would much rather visit me and have me able to smile/stay awake and relatively pain free than view my "clean" house.  I am really starting to evaluate those "must do's" in my life.  It is like I shoot myself in the foot on purpose trying to prove I am "normal", "not disabled."  I just have say, STOP!  I don't have to prove anything to anyone, especially not to the people that love me.