CLARITY
I am amazed at how much things can change if you just focus and begin. For some time I have "tried" to do better, but in the end , gave up and fell into old habits. I finally came to find some strength ,courage and hope to pull up my big girl pants and do what I need to.
I have been watching my sugar and it is going down. It is still around the 200 mark which is high, but I have an appt with a new endocrinologist this week plus my insulin was tweeked by family dr for now so feeling good about that. I have lost 8 pounds since an appt last week, have been doing some exercises and stretches (trying to add a bit more each day)
Last night as I tried to sleep (after dozing and missing 2 new shows I was planning on watching before bed. lol) the minute my head hit the pillow my brain was on overload. The thing was it was all good thoughts.... of things to gather to take and decorate for my sister's room and to help her .... for things to do with the kids... realizations about me and what I really want to do
I have been doing things and hope they continue
STOPPING AND CHANGING COURSE BEFORE GRABBING FOOD just because I am bored, upset or don't want to deal with something. Instead understand what I am about to do but find something else to do instead.
DISCOVERING I HAVE MORE CLARITY WHEN I AM SILENT AND ABOUT TO SLEEP may be because I have always had background noise (usually tv) on almost constant so now I will find time to focus on my thoughts and ideas.
MY HEAD WAS SWIRLING WITH IDEAS As much as I do love to talk, write I have always wanted to reach out , journal and connect with others. I HAVE WONDERED ABOUT BLOGGING,PODCASTING but am kind of clueless. If ANYONE CAN GIVE me SOME INFO ON HOW TO go about it I would really appreciate it. And thank you all for continuing to put up with , challenge and support me. I just feel like I want to do more.
Replies
I do not know about blogging....sorry Kim I just am too old and clueless about that....but I journal here all the time and it is a safe place to do such.....I do not think people would follow me on some blogging site.....I do not know what the people would want that I offer....it is just my daily grind that I put out there.....not instructions or committed commentary about current events.....
but I am glad you have a moment of clarity last night that turning off the tv before bed will let the mind pull ideas for the future out of your brain.....
Me when my mind gets going like that I usually am up way too late....LOL I also do my daily text inventory to my sponsors in 3 twelve step programs and my sponsee.....so I do get the daily grind out of my head every night.....in a line of questions that I set up in notes on my cell.....then at night I copy that and paste it to my one AA sponsor and go in and type my answers to all those questions....then I copy that and go to my sponsor or sponsee text messages and paste it there then go to notes and open another set of questions about my money issues like what did I earn did I compulsively shop today how much did I spend ect.....and I copy these questions after pasted the other thing into their text then I add these questions and answer them in that text and send it....then I copy that new text from my say sponsee and copy it to my sponsor in Debtors anon and also copy it to the text to my spenders anon.....I found my AA sponsor does not like looking over my money issues and he thinks I worship the dollar when I do send him the entire thing with all my money issues....
so anyway maybe find a good friend and do some kind of daily text message with them of questions you are using daily of how the day went.....were you dishonest selfish or lustful....(I always have your name under lustful...) :0) Hehehe add a few other questions around how you spent your day....how your mood was spending your day ext and share that with the friend who hopefully will also share theirs with you?
maybe? I do not know.....that is my stuff up above on my thoughts before bedtime.....
You are a smart person, Kim. You really are a caring person, also. When I am changing habits, I have to do it every day for a long time. They say 3 weeks but I think it takes me longer. I have not been able or good at doing all the PT exercises every day and I am finding my strained hamstring is getting better not doing them. So now I give myself permission to slack off.
When I fall asleep watching TV and then wake up, it messes with my sleep pattern. I don't even know I am falling asleep sometimes and then I wake up and missed the end of the movie or whatever. I try not to do this as it makes me kind of crazy.
It really does mess me up sometimes too. The other night I tried to watch 3 hr shows but wound up seeing one part of each one, Was kind of freaky. Today I am catching up on what I missed. (streaming)
You are right about taking a few weeks to get things in a definite routine. Already I have had moments of not cracking the whip as hard as I planned. I am being a bit more patient now and simply continuing on and not beating myself up... As long as I keep going and making some progress . Good luck with that hamstring. :)
You are doing great Kim! Keep at it. It’s not easy to change our habits but a little at a time and you will be successful. After reading your journal I am going to refocus my efforts.