Clarity
So the last couple of weeks have been a tough one for me and my boys. My youngest thought that his father would pick him up for the 4th of July and they would spend the day together as they have done for his entire life. My STBX did not even call him. I found out that he spent his holiday with some woman. My father (thank goodness) came to the rescue and gave my sons one of the best 4th of July's they have had in a while.
I texted my STBX a few days ago and asked him to help me with school clothes and supplies for our youngest son. He informed me that he will not give me any more child support and will instead use that money to buy our son clothes. I texted back and said that he did not have to worry about getting clothes for our son. I will manage, just continue to deposit the money. He replied that he will do what he sees fit for our son. Such an asshole.
Yesterday, he calls me at work at 9 a.m. (I have not heard his voice for at least 3 months) and says he wants to pick up our youngest son. I told him that he is probably still asleep as I let him stay up to play video games the night before. He yells at me that he wants to see his son. I keep calm and tell him he is going to have to wait until he wakes up and I will have him to contact him. My STBX has not called our son in about 2 weeks and now all of a sudden he needs to see him? What is his problem? About 10 minutes later our 21 year old son calls me and says that my STBX is at the door, ringing the bell and kicking it. I tell my son do not open the door. Frantic, I call a good friend who lives on the other block and he immediately drives over. He informs me that he sees my STBX driving away as he pulls up. I call my STBX and ask him what is wrong with him and he sounds drunk or high. I tell him he needs professional help because he is losing his mind and hang up on him.
Last night, I ate dinner by myself at a steakhouse down the street from where I had to attend a mandatory parenting class for my divorce. It was a somber occasion. Sitting there alone eating a meal put a lot of things in perspective. For one, the obvious, I am lonely, two, my marriage is really over, three, I married a selfish turd, and four, I am weeks away from hopefully the divorce being finalized. During the class (which my STBX is not obligated to attend) I realized that I do not regret any of the decisions I have made in the last 4 months. All of them were for the benefit of my children and for my sanity. We will be okay.
I texted my STBX a few days ago and asked him to help me with school clothes and supplies for our youngest son. He informed me that he will not give me any more child support and will instead use that money to buy our son clothes. I texted back and said that he did not have to worry about getting clothes for our son. I will manage, just continue to deposit the money. He replied that he will do what he sees fit for our son. Such an asshole.
Yesterday, he calls me at work at 9 a.m. (I have not heard his voice for at least 3 months) and says he wants to pick up our youngest son. I told him that he is probably still asleep as I let him stay up to play video games the night before. He yells at me that he wants to see his son. I keep calm and tell him he is going to have to wait until he wakes up and I will have him to contact him. My STBX has not called our son in about 2 weeks and now all of a sudden he needs to see him? What is his problem? About 10 minutes later our 21 year old son calls me and says that my STBX is at the door, ringing the bell and kicking it. I tell my son do not open the door. Frantic, I call a good friend who lives on the other block and he immediately drives over. He informs me that he sees my STBX driving away as he pulls up. I call my STBX and ask him what is wrong with him and he sounds drunk or high. I tell him he needs professional help because he is losing his mind and hang up on him.
Last night, I ate dinner by myself at a steakhouse down the street from where I had to attend a mandatory parenting class for my divorce. It was a somber occasion. Sitting there alone eating a meal put a lot of things in perspective. For one, the obvious, I am lonely, two, my marriage is really over, three, I married a selfish turd, and four, I am weeks away from hopefully the divorce being finalized. During the class (which my STBX is not obligated to attend) I realized that I do not regret any of the decisions I have made in the last 4 months. All of them were for the benefit of my children and for my sanity. We will be okay.
Replies
Hun, I am so sorry you and your children are going through this. Your ex is a total loser, and I am hurting for you. He sounds dangerous at this point.
I wish I could have sat down and had dinner with you last night...I cannot imagine how that felt. Why does he not have to go to parenting classes? Because he is not an active parent?
You are going to be ok sweetie. Your posts tell me that you are so strong, even as you are being beaten down by him and life.
Sending you a hug.
Amy
Oh I\'m so sorry! Wow what a jerk. My wife had an ex before we hooked up, his biological father would fall into that category. Not pick him up on his weekends, not pay child support, when he wanted to see him show up at our door at midnight bitching it was \"his weekend\" but he was about 7 hours late and M. was in bed asleep...I was sooooo happy when he reached the age he could tell his father what he thought of him and make his own mind up whether to see him or not. He\'s 26 now and had ZERO to do with him. I am his DAD 100% and the last time the douche tried to get ahold of my son through Facebook that is what he told him. NOW he wants to reconnect with him lol, that ship has sailed. It will be rough for a bit but the kids do get older before you know it and now those days are a just a little unpleasant memory but at the time they consumed our lives with lawyers, court dates, visitation etc. In a way I\'m thankful my wife pulled the trigger when my daughter was 17 so no need for all that. I\'ll keep you and your boys in my thoughts and prayers :)