Clarity

Yesterday I went to the mountain. It was a warm sunny day and the sky was crystal clear, even in the snow. I was with friends and someone I love. I kept looking at the beauty surrounding me and the blue sky and white puffy clouds and all of the amazing nature around me. I breathed slowly and said a prayer to watch over my boys and me and to help all of us on what lies ahead.
Tomorrow my ex and I go to rehab (4 hour drive each way) for a weekly family therapy session. There are times I feel more at peace about the fact that he is the one who controls his choices and I can be calm and rational about all of that. Other times I have the same urge I think we all fight to scream and cry and hug and explain the million reasons why he should stay clean.
Planning on some more deep breathing and visualizing the beautiful things in life.