Christmas Season
HI to all as we come up to Christmas time yet again! It's a good and bad time of year isn't it, with stress trying to find the right presents and then the fun of getting cards, and putting up the tree with its twinkling lights and the special air of occasion when friendships are renewed and special clothes are dug out of the closet to look festive and special. (In reverse order of importance!)
Not sure if we are spending the day with Ivan's Mum-or his kids, and his ex and her b/f. or all. I am not going to contact my extended family down in the South Island. I have connected so often and never been connected by them first. I am sick of it. It's not fair. Am I so insignificant in their lives?
Or have I just run them out of patience? Being bipolar may not mean anything to them. Do they care? Or is it something they can't understand and connect with behaviours of mine that have annoyed them in the past? The explanation for why I have been so erratic, so embarrassing, so unpredictable.
Christmas used to be so special for us when Mum was alive. We all kissed and said Merry Christmas. we had morning coffee and talked and smoked and caught up with each other....before opening so many presents! What fun it was. But then I started working in retail and couldnt get away to share Christmas with them. Got married-went to husband's family instead. But always went to Nelson at least once a year. for family time.
Ive forgotten most of it now.
just a few photos and the odd memory.
Maybe I will end up sending emails to my 2 brothers. Dont know if I can bear to sever ties permanently. Though now I come to think about it, I left a message on one brother's phone on The Day and he never got back to me.
Nah fuckim.
Still like the other bro even if family's aren't his thing.
will send an email to him and my nieces/ =give them a last chance.
the other bro has had his last chance......
I sent him a birthday email and he didnt send me one back. Ouch-or even a thank you how are you?
no love the ones you're with -who you love you too.
My friendship is special and not to be squandered.
Did I say Fuckem?
Fuckem!
Not sure if we are spending the day with Ivan's Mum-or his kids, and his ex and her b/f. or all. I am not going to contact my extended family down in the South Island. I have connected so often and never been connected by them first. I am sick of it. It's not fair. Am I so insignificant in their lives?
Or have I just run them out of patience? Being bipolar may not mean anything to them. Do they care? Or is it something they can't understand and connect with behaviours of mine that have annoyed them in the past? The explanation for why I have been so erratic, so embarrassing, so unpredictable.
Christmas used to be so special for us when Mum was alive. We all kissed and said Merry Christmas. we had morning coffee and talked and smoked and caught up with each other....before opening so many presents! What fun it was. But then I started working in retail and couldnt get away to share Christmas with them. Got married-went to husband's family instead. But always went to Nelson at least once a year. for family time.
Ive forgotten most of it now.
just a few photos and the odd memory.
Maybe I will end up sending emails to my 2 brothers. Dont know if I can bear to sever ties permanently. Though now I come to think about it, I left a message on one brother's phone on The Day and he never got back to me.
Nah fuckim.
Still like the other bro even if family's aren't his thing.
will send an email to him and my nieces/ =give them a last chance.
the other bro has had his last chance......
I sent him a birthday email and he didnt send me one back. Ouch-or even a thank you how are you?
no love the ones you're with -who you love you too.
My friendship is special and not to be squandered.
Did I say Fuckem?
Fuckem!
Replies
Hi Dinah! comforting hugs, our dear friend. hoping, and praying, for reconnecting, and keeping that hope and faith alive, that someday your family will reach out to you. we\'ll always believe in power of healing, and power of reconnecting, especially during the holidays. :) a nice card, is a wonderful gesture of love, and can bring so much joy to the hearts of person sending, and person recieving the card. :) it\'s always a wonderful chance, for reconnecting. :) i\'m keeping you all in my thoughts, and prayers, and hoping and praying that you all have a very peaceful, joyful, and blessed holiday season :)
Somtimes people get busy with their own lives. Somtimes so much so that the old traditions just lose that importance that they once had, The last thing we need to do make something personal out of it. We can always start new traditions with our current loved ones. We send our cards express our desire to reconnect and remember the goodtimes. Outside of that we cant make those old times come back. We just naturally grow apart its all just a part of life.Enjoy your holiday season.
I\'ve found that helping the less fortunate adds a whole new meaning to the season of giving. Greg
Thanks to you both for your kindness and support. There is a balance to be struck between reconnecting and moving on. Also I do have others in my life who support me in 2011 and me them too.
Merry Christmas xxxxxx
Your family in Nelson may have got used to you always being the one to make the first move. Also, ppl do get caught up in their own lives and don\'t think about their rellies unless they are right there in front of them.
Men are terrible at keeping in touch, if their wives don\'t do it then it doesn\'t get done. I have two brothers and never get even a birthday ecard and rarely a reply to emails. I put it down to them being self-absorbed. Your brothers are probably the same. It doesn\'t mean they have anything against you. I give mine a quick ring occasionally to see if they\'re still alive and leave it at that. I don\'t expect anything of them, then I don\'t get disappointed.
Hi Dinah,
I understand the sting of relatives who ignore you. I have 2 younger sisters and a 12 year old daughter with whom I have no contact. Not only do they ignore me by not contacting me or returning correspondence, but they have basically told me not to contact them at all.
I guess I understand. I have a bad habit of saying inappropriate things. Hurtful and judgmental things.
I\'m glad you will have a get together with Ivan\'s family. Is it pleasant, or at least comfortable, for you to be around them? My husband Neal\'s family is hard for me to be around. I find them stiff and judgmental. I don\'t know. Maybe it\'s me! :-)
At any rate, I hope that things get sorted out to your liking. You deserve a lovely celebration. You are such a kind and gentle spirit!
my friend Dinah a world away, not forgotten by anyone of that be sure.