Christmas marches on...
You can't stop Christmas, can ya? It's gonna come, Thursday night at 8:35 pm, when we light those candles in church, Christmas is gonna wash right on over us, whether we're ready or not... I'm feeling pretty... meh... about Christmas this year. I'm not freaking too much about it, which is weird, I'm not worried about, "did I get them enough...", "did I get "magical enough" presents...", "will they be delighted enough..." I'm just not thinking that way, and I guess it's because... shit... I guess I just have a different perspective on what's important during the holidays this year. What's important is that I still have them all, they may not all be speaking to each other, and some of them may be going through a rough patch or two, and I may or may not agree with their choices... but they're still HERE. Sigh. That's it and that's all. I am blessed. My tree is up, my snowflake lights are twinkling, the tacky lighted reindeer with moveable parts is... moving, all my baby Jesuses are present and accounted for, I have a puppy snuggling under my legs, three cats milling about waiting to be fed, the fake fireplace is... well, it's not lit, but if I wanted to get up and disturb the puppy, I could SO light the fake fireplace... but that would be just too perfect, I'll leave that for Christmas Eve. This will be my first sober Christmas in a long time. I won't be trying to suck down a bunch of wine before the service... that'll be a change for the better. I won't have a slight buzz, and be all rosey and sloshy and fakey sentimental... this year if I'm sentimental, it'll be the REAL thing. That's the best part, knowing my emotions are my own, not belonging to the alcohol. I have a really good friend this year,Mary, well, a new friend, I already had a really good friend, Dar, but this year, I have, well actually, I have TWO really good new friends, Mary and Karen, in addition to my one really good OLD friend, which brings me to a total of THREE really good friends, unless you count my mom and my sister and my sisterinlaw, which would bring me to SIX... I am blessed, is the point... I didn't have friends before. Not real ones. I had too much to hide, and no time for forging relationships.... Okay, that's all I wanted to say, Christmas is coming, and I say, "BRING IT!"
Replies