Christmas from the North biPOLEr
I looked around in all of the busy stores and and saw all of the stress on peoples faces. Christmas is going to be hard on more people this year for different reasons. This year I do have a lot to be thankful for, though at times it is hard to remember. I am lucky that I don't have to worry about money, have a very understanding place of employment and my adult children don't seem as embarrassed as they used to be when I ride the cart all the way to the car, in the Walmart parking lot, laughing the whole time. The best gift I could ever get for Christmas, however, would to not have my manic episodes where I get so full of anger and hate, wanting to walk away from all and everyone! My Father always tells me to "Take it a day at a time" and I know he means well, but I usually have to take it a second at a time, wondering if the next second is the one where I loose it all. But for today I have been granted a solice, if you will, and am looking foreward to a very Merry Christmas! I hope you all have one as well! Joshuattee
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awweee, you know Josh, your dad IS right.. that is all anyone can do, is take life a day at a time. I fully understand and can relate to the second by second thing tho!!! I come unglued that fast too,,,, it is something I have been making a consious effort to get control of.... I really have to pull back and not blow up at time, and there are still a lot of times that I loose it. But at least we are aware of our behavior, and we are not the only ones in the world that need improvement... that\'s for sure!! Don\'t be so hard on yourself.... learn to love yourself even tho you are not living up to others expectations!! All any of us can do is our best,,,, some times it works... and sometimes it doesn\'t. Have you thought about what makes you so angry? That is sometimes the hardest part, if you do know,, and you can find it in your heart to forgive those situations, it somehow eases the impact it use to have. I hope you had a wonderful dinner today with your daughter... what did you make? I made BBQ ribs yesterday, and re-heated them today. This is the first Christmas I have ever been alone,,,, and believe it or not,,,,,, it is very peaceful,,, and gives me the opportunity to reflect on the new year coming, and all the blessing God has given me.... for instance,,, your friendship,,,, this site,,,, lights, heat, family, friends, music...... Thank You God :) ,,,, and thank you to Josh!!!.....Lynn