Christmas 2015
I don't even know what I want to say. My husband Brownie has been gone 14 months. It seems like an eternity. Oh how I miss him. Being lonely is a terrible thing. I find I'm talking to myself, does that mean Im crazy? I just need to hear the sound of someones voice. I go out everyday just to leave this house and see people and life. I don't know if it helps or not but I do it out of boredom.
My poor, sweet daughter is going through hell. She has cancer. It has spread. I don't know if she will make it. I ask God why? She is the sweetest thing ever. Why her. There are so many bad people in the world healthy! Why??? My heart breaks for her pain. I wish so hard that I can take it away from her. She has always been such a good girl. Even during chemo she met a woman that was homeless and the hospital could not, by law release her. She told my daughter she had nobody. No clothes, nothing. She had been evicted from her apartment.My sweet daughter suffering with cancer and chemo effects, goes home with her husband. She then makes a list of toiletries and some clothes for this woman. She gives the list to her son with her credit card to go shopping for the items and takes them to the woman the next day when they have chemo again. That is how my daughter is, always putting someone else first, regardless of her situation. I love her so much my heart hurts to think of what she is going through. If you read this please say a prayer for her, Debbie is her name. God must be tired of hearing from me I pray so much for her.
I would love some happiness in my life again. I feel selfish because I had many, many years of happiness before Brownie's death and my daughters illness. Some people never have that. I guess it spoiled me and I don't know how to accept being sad all the time. I keep thinking of what my Mom use to always say, "Things can always be worse." She's right, they can be. I guess I should stop whining and try to get my act together and deal with the situation.
I want to wish all the wonderful people on here that have sent me messages and hugs and prayed for me a Very Merry Christmas if that is what you celebrate and if not I want to wish you well. I do appreciate all the kindness here. Until I write again. Linda
My poor, sweet daughter is going through hell. She has cancer. It has spread. I don't know if she will make it. I ask God why? She is the sweetest thing ever. Why her. There are so many bad people in the world healthy! Why??? My heart breaks for her pain. I wish so hard that I can take it away from her. She has always been such a good girl. Even during chemo she met a woman that was homeless and the hospital could not, by law release her. She told my daughter she had nobody. No clothes, nothing. She had been evicted from her apartment.My sweet daughter suffering with cancer and chemo effects, goes home with her husband. She then makes a list of toiletries and some clothes for this woman. She gives the list to her son with her credit card to go shopping for the items and takes them to the woman the next day when they have chemo again. That is how my daughter is, always putting someone else first, regardless of her situation. I love her so much my heart hurts to think of what she is going through. If you read this please say a prayer for her, Debbie is her name. God must be tired of hearing from me I pray so much for her.
I would love some happiness in my life again. I feel selfish because I had many, many years of happiness before Brownie's death and my daughters illness. Some people never have that. I guess it spoiled me and I don't know how to accept being sad all the time. I keep thinking of what my Mom use to always say, "Things can always be worse." She's right, they can be. I guess I should stop whining and try to get my act together and deal with the situation.
I want to wish all the wonderful people on here that have sent me messages and hugs and prayed for me a Very Merry Christmas if that is what you celebrate and if not I want to wish you well. I do appreciate all the kindness here. Until I write again. Linda
Replies
My dearest linda. Im praying for debbie. I am praying for strength, peace and comfort not only for her, but for you as well. I think how hard it must be for your suffering through watching your daughters suffering. My oldest had colon cancer and it was so heart wrenching....but fortunately for me my daughter was healed and been in remission for almost 15 years.. i pray for you to have peace and friendships to carry you through. With love and big hugs carla
Linda:
In your post of Christmas 2015, you said that God must be tired of hearing you pray so much for Debbie.
Please do not feel that way. God only asks two things of us...to Love one another...and to believe in Him.
It\'s like the parable of the Widows Mite...God had no use for the riches rained upon him by the rich publicans, building monuments to themselves
...but God was more touched by the single Denari He received from the Widow, which was all she had to give...because that small token represented the Faith of the Widow...which in God\'s eyes was greater than all the treasures of the world.
I\'m new on here, but I am especially touched by your situation...you need to be surrounded by people who care...and you need to be embraced by Our Lord.
Love is the most powerful energy in The Universe...we pray for Our Lord to watch over you, and Debbie, and to embrace you both in the Healing Hand of His Love.
Love is the most powerful energy of The Universe...the love between Debbie and you is a bond so powerful, that it cannot be taken away by any manner of time or space.
Separation is temporary...reunion is forever.
Love never dies!