christmas
got in fight with kyle today. i went off on him for no good reson and dont no why i did. im fuckin mental jelus i dont fuckin no but he told me to fuck off and he dont need my shit. i pushd all my friends away. but whatever dont need nobody and fuck christmas. 2 days go my uncle stabed himself in the heart tryin kill himself. dad just came in drunk off his ass. threw me some pills and said merry christmas now kill yurself. have no clue what pills they are but takin few and knockin out. i think dads goin want fight. dont feel like putin up with his shit tonight
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sadly i woke up this mornin. dad was alredy gone. probly at the bar. its rainin and snowin and cold and i got no money and theres nothin eat. dont feel like sitin here but theres no wear to go and nothin to do. theres nothin but shit on tv. happy crap and happy people. trees and presents and happy smily people. fuck em all want shoot em in there fuckin heads