Choose shorter life for less pain?

 
It appears that I have a choice.  The doctor hasn't actually said it to me but I figured it out.
I had migraines almost every day now and they hover at around 6 to 8.  Sometimes they last up to 5 days.  This last year has been particularily horrible and then I wound up in the hospital with various frightening sypmtoms and I was diagnosed with Graves disease (hyperthyroid).  This was causing all the extra migraines and pain as my thyroid was running wild from hyper to hypo.  Apparantly when I dip hypo, there are more migraines and more pain.  When I am hyper, I have less migraines and less pain.
However, being hyper shortens your lifespan, so the doctors want to kill the thyroid and render you hypo and put you on pills.  HELLO!  Hypo - more pain.
I was given pills for Hyper for 8 weeks and I had a migraine almost every day.  Then the blood tests came back and said that I stabilized so my pills were cut in half and I started to go Hyper again (I can't sit still at all) but my headaches are almost all gone!!  WONDREFUL!  But I'm hyper so the doc is going to want to bring down the hyper again.    HELLO AGAIN.  I have no headaches!!!!!!!
My initial thought is to leave me alone then.  I have suffered horrible pain my entire life.  Can't you just break the rules and let me be a little hyper?  I know it is bad for the heart and eyes and I lose weight, but I promise I will eat and excercise.  I'm okay with living a shorter life, really I am.  My family doesn't have to know.  In fact, I'm not going to tell them.
I need some serious discusions with my Endocronologist and my Neurologist.