Choices
My most effective psychotherapy has mostly been through the VA. However Federal the institution, the VA centers are quite localized. My old VA connections cannot help me much in this new location. In that brief quasi-calm between the funeral and Corona's crowning, I was in the process of setting up local connections when the entire system went CFC. Closed For Corona. Works in progress on the virtual help.
I have been reaching out in military veteran forums. That reach has proven to be more DIY exposure therapy than "Help." Promoting the mask mandates is their reason for existing. Zero tolerance for the *choice* of having panic attacks at masked events. Enter pimp/madam flashbacks. Yes, Ma'am/Sir. Whatever you say, Ma'am/Sir.
Just venting. . . I tried another reach out yesterday, got bitch slapped and deleted the controversial post.
The good news is that I believe I am beginning to find my own words for ^it^.
Again I leave the mood icon on the rapid cycling median. Wasted away again in Coronaville, looking for my lost shaker of hope.
Replies
Vent vent vent sweetie..... Big hug for you and a blessing....xo
The mental chatter over my **choice** to suffer panic attacks at masked events seems to be getting louder and more obnoxious. After 20 months of cruel assumption on the other side of the masked divide, that particular peanut gallery in my head is gaining a substantial population. The daily news is harping ever meaner punishments for my **choice**. Of course this is triggering the 60's trauma over my **choice** to be a child prostitute. Sigh. . .
Processing. . . Plying radical acceptance. . . Increasing social distances. Silencing the psychotherapy over the instinctive social distancing of a child prostitute. Sorry, shrinky dinks. The powers-that-be voted you down on this one. Social distancing is a good thing.