Choices

Losing weight isn't rocket science.  I mean really: Calories eaten < calories burned = weight loss So why is it so gosh darn hard???    I want to eat better.  I want to make good choices.  I want to be fit and healthy.  Then I sit there and make bad choices.  Why do I do this to myself?  Last night, I ate a Cinnabon.  It was stale, so it didn't even taste that great to begin with.  I had fresh strawberries, fat free whip cream and angel food cake that I had gotten for myself.  That would have been the smarter choice.  And with every bite, I just felt awful and was saying to myself all kinds of things:  "Why am I eating this?  I am off with my food today anyway, so why not eat this Cinnabon?  I don't want to throw it away or waste it.  It is there.  I screwed up anyway, so I might as well just eat what I want."  Stupid stuff.  And I know for a fact I was not hungry.  And I felt awful and guilty and uncomfortably full aftwards.  (I didn't even finish the whole thing.)  Yesterday really wasn't a bad day, although my steps were horrible (2200 steps for the day!)  I seem to do a little better on days that I exercise really well.  More motivated maybe?   I went and did my workout at the Y this morning.  37 mins on the treadmill (mostly walking, but some running.)  Also 25 minutes of upper body weights/abs/back and 5 minutes of stretching.  I felt great when I got back.  So far so good with the eating today:  coffee and high fiber oatmeal for breakfast (10g of fiber!  Whoo HOO!)  I just had 2 slices of bread (out of whole grain unfortunately) with some natural peanut butter, and a bowl of strawberries and banana.  Hopefully, I can keep this up.  The cravings are just awful sometimes.  Cravings for sweets (chocolate, any kind of cake, ice cream) and starches (bread, pasta, potatoes.)  Occassionally it is the salty stuff like potato chips, or OMG, huge weakness, salty french fries!  Hoping to avoid those things for a while and see if the craving die down to manageable levels.   I cannot believe I have had 5 straight days in my home office to get work done.  I cannot believe how behind I really was.  The stress level is a little better.  I really need like a month of breather time to really feel "normal" again.  It's all mental for me, motivating myself to focus and get my work done, motivating myself to focus on getting my exercise in and making better choices.   I am having a good day, but I am feeling fat today.  It is just one of those days where no matter what I put on, I look in the mirror and feel awful.  I took 3 outfits in the bathroom with me this AM to figure out what to wear today.  I just have to get past this and keep going.