Chicken Little
The sky is falling, the sky is falling! That is what I am projecting to my son, I believe. He told me that he's stressed out because of the pressure I've been putting on him about his chemistry. He said that when he doesn't cooperate and doesn't follow through on his work, I make comments like "you're going to fail" and it really stresses him out. I am really not handling this parenting thing very well, lately. I guess since he seemed to be doing so well, my expectations were even higher than where he really is at. I also commented to his caseworker the other day that I am nervous about him being off of probation. He also has to pay over $700 in restitution before his probation is over. I told him he had to earn it and can't take it out of the bank, which could possibly mean he'd be on probation a little longer. I am not sure about that. Anyway, I shouldn't have brought it up. He is so upset with me - knowing he was grounded this evening that he probably set it up so that he could 'be "upset", take off and blame it on me. I am not taking full responsibility for this but i do have a part in it. I suppose I should read the packet I put together. I need a refresher course and I also need to step back. It's as if I haven't learned anything in the past year or so..... sigh....... things will get better - just having a bad week, I guess.....
Replies
I think he is playing you.. He should realize that you have every right and reason to be concerned. Blaming you is not a good sign, but I think it is a common ploy among teens. Good luck and keep up the good work.
I echo olelady\'s comments. Blaming someone else is also part of the addicts profile......It\'s probably true, you are stressing him out...so what is he going to do? How about make a deal, I go to tutoring you don\'t bring up the fail issue....and stick to it and step way back. The problem is that if he does not want to do it (school, graduate) he\'s not going to and he will blame someone else rather than taking responsibility for his choices......It\'s a pattern you\'ve been writing about for 2+ years. Is there any kind of coop program where he can go to school and go to work? Would he be better off repeating the year in a private school? Maybe it\'s time to have the discussion as a family about his options if he does not complete school, can he live with you, have access to transportation, bill payment etc. What supports/expectations will you and your husband have for him? It seems that that there are about to be some hard life choices....I don\'t know what you can do for a child who does not want to grow up and rejects help/supports ----- as a parent it\'s heartbreaking!!!!! Good Luck and Take Care!!!!