Chew Chew

In the years I have been trying to make the transition from parenting young children to ?? parenting middle-aged children ?? orchestrating dysfunctional family cycles ?? Life after parenting ?? Housewife retirement ?? I still don't have a good name for ^it^. Sigh. . . Lack of definition adds a serious challenge to the goal setting. Again, that stuffy little CPA who helped me set up my business books in the 80's pops my head. "Do first. Define later."

In the years I have spun my wheels in the current family cycle, a recurring theme is where I spend unhealthy legnths of time, alone, waiting for my next housewife duty assignment. As soon as I begin a project of my own, in comes the proverbial bum's rush. None of the bums in the rush are aware, nor concerned, about the demands of the other bums, but they all rush in a syncronized wave that makes it hard to believe it is not a coordinated effort. Customer service pros are very familiar with the phenom. Feast or famine. . .

With very little confidence that I have found the words for ^it^, the sudden, intense text stream from Texas continues, feeling very much like the same pattern which has repeated since the youngest son grew his adolescant independence. YS graduated High School in 2002. However you mark the time-line, the pattern is well-established. Which thread belongs to whom in the making of the snotty knot is tough to say. It is a complex weave of many threads. In real life weaving, the knots are the most complex part of a complex weave.

I am a 10 hour drive from the property containing the plumbing leak which was substatial enough to get the attention of the absentee-owners. It is agricultural plumbing. The leak(s) could be anywhere in the 3 or 4 city-block plumbing runs from the semi-primitive county water supply near the road to the house, barns, pastures, etc. The Urban Homestead is a few hours beyond that. It has a family-sized list of needs feeling the pinch of neglect. Of course the business-as-usual is calling me to make the drive.

Am I seeing loving, respectful progress in the dialog about my making the drive? For sure, I canae easily describe ^it^.

I remain scattered and uncertain but am finding this little confluence lake a peaceful place to wait out the confusion. It is the nearest camp-comfy state park to the confluence. Fort Defiance State Park is directly on the confluence but it is not an inviting campground. It gets so flooded that the designers built it to be submersible.

Taking ^it^ in small steps with big faith and lots of prayer. Letting God lead The Dance.