Check in with myself
Today was a good day. I looked forward to getting on here. I felt like someone had heard me this week when I vented earlier on here. I slept well last night in spite of the tension in the home. And the worry. I worry about everybody. And then I cry. I can't fix anything, and I don't even have the money to fix the things money would fix. Of course I have my own money problems to weed through. Those are being remedied slowly. That is positive. I saw light and the end of the no money tunnel. lol. Work went well. I am training a new hire, walked to star bucks with my supervisor, and was in the field this afternoon. When I got home it was quiet. I needed some emotional space after desperately crawling out of my mind earlier this week. I feel productive today and see work emerging into a bigger picture of which I am proud of and enjoy. I just hope I can sleep tonight.
Replies
I feel open. I feel free. I was feeling oppressed. I am speaking when our boss came on board that everything changed. I learned so much and structured my day better, focused my work, and had better boundaries and parameters around myself and my work. I worked through personal things and separated my personal stuff from my work place. I wasn\'t hangin out all over the place and was more in control of my emotions. AND YET...I was stifled because there was nothing you could do with out her sitting on you. If the owner called me or if another exec. called me she would make snide accusations, and ask \"well why did he call youuuuu?\" well why not? Instead of standing up, I would just cower and say, \"I don\'t know.\" She accused other of being abusive but she was paranoid and bullying. I am glad she is gone. I am glad for the change. I see the good in others, and I will miss her strengths....and yet I will not miss the anxiousness that occurred when she was there. The other thing is I feel like I am being nice to her to her face and talking outside the other side of my mouth to the owner who is asking me questions. I feel that I had to agree with her while she was the boss lady and now I can be free of really being someone I am not. Interesting...part of my depression is feeling like I have to be a chameleon any time a new boss comes on board. I really just want to take care of my business and I do not want anyone trying to convince me of what is right or wrong. I am way to old for that shit.
GLAD YOUR JOB IS WORKING OUT 4 U SWEETIE
GBU
DRENA B
;-O