Chaos and temper tantrums
I do see that he thrives on the chaos he can create, and the discord that he spreads in our house. Why is it that I feel so powerless to stop it? Why do I recognize it one instant, then begin to doubt my perceptions the next? The phrasing he uses when explaining to me why he feels he is not getting what he needs in this relationship are very telling. For example, he "needs his one on one time with me". His children are disrespectful and rude because they do not speak to him when he walks in the door. When asked does he speak to them, and when I point out that nobody likes to speak to him when he walks in because we are never sure how he is going to act, he says he doesn't have to speak first, everyone should speak to him first. That is just a show of respect. You don't show kids too much love, they have to earn it, otherwise they act like these kids do--because I have shown them too much love over the years.
It has been a bad weekend here. He packed his things again and moved them downstairs. This after a long, three day battle with me--finally I told him to get the hell out, I am done being called an f***in moron, idiot, dummy, b****, trash, fool, whatever ignorant thing he can throw at me. Saturday was because he decided he wanted Chinese food for dinner, I was going to the grocery store in PF so I offered to pick up his food from there. He didn't want food from that Chinese restaurant, he wanted it from another that was 45 minutes away from where I was going. I told him I would pick it up from the location I was going to. He said forget it he would go get his own food. Well on the way to the grocery store, there was an accident on the highway so I had to turn around and go to the store by where he wanted his food; no other choice. I called to let him know he could call in his food and I would pick it up, but I never got the chance to get it out. Instead I had to argue for 20 minutes about why I didn't just offer to pick up his food in the first place. When I informed him I had no intentions of going to that location, they didn't have a Family Dollar which is where we get our laundry detergent and paper products, I was an f***in dummy and the phone was hung up on me. Then he calls me back after about 30 minutes to inquire whether I have "come to my senses" and figured out how messed up I am. I should have been happy to go out of my way if my husband wanted Chinese food and gone anywhere he wanted me to just to make him happy. I finally lost it and told him I cannot take anymore he needs to get out. Well, my daughter (our youngest) happened to be in the room and overheard him yelling at me on the phone. She started crying and yelled "please stop yelling at my mommy". Well that set him off about how I shouldn't tell the girls our problems (really my problems) that I am giving them my side and he is sick of "my children" being disrespectful to him. It is all my fault. Yesterday she started crying because he "hates her". Every time he has walked past her since this fight, he rolls his eyes and slams doors. Jesus, why do my kids have to go through this!? How does he justify this? He is 42 years old for God's sake--she is 12! When I point that out, that is just more proof to him that she shouldn't be acting the way she does! WTF!!!!!!! You psycho, idiot, immature, a**hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There......that felt better!
It has been a bad weekend here. He packed his things again and moved them downstairs. This after a long, three day battle with me--finally I told him to get the hell out, I am done being called an f***in moron, idiot, dummy, b****, trash, fool, whatever ignorant thing he can throw at me. Saturday was because he decided he wanted Chinese food for dinner, I was going to the grocery store in PF so I offered to pick up his food from there. He didn't want food from that Chinese restaurant, he wanted it from another that was 45 minutes away from where I was going. I told him I would pick it up from the location I was going to. He said forget it he would go get his own food. Well on the way to the grocery store, there was an accident on the highway so I had to turn around and go to the store by where he wanted his food; no other choice. I called to let him know he could call in his food and I would pick it up, but I never got the chance to get it out. Instead I had to argue for 20 minutes about why I didn't just offer to pick up his food in the first place. When I informed him I had no intentions of going to that location, they didn't have a Family Dollar which is where we get our laundry detergent and paper products, I was an f***in dummy and the phone was hung up on me. Then he calls me back after about 30 minutes to inquire whether I have "come to my senses" and figured out how messed up I am. I should have been happy to go out of my way if my husband wanted Chinese food and gone anywhere he wanted me to just to make him happy. I finally lost it and told him I cannot take anymore he needs to get out. Well, my daughter (our youngest) happened to be in the room and overheard him yelling at me on the phone. She started crying and yelled "please stop yelling at my mommy". Well that set him off about how I shouldn't tell the girls our problems (really my problems) that I am giving them my side and he is sick of "my children" being disrespectful to him. It is all my fault. Yesterday she started crying because he "hates her". Every time he has walked past her since this fight, he rolls his eyes and slams doors. Jesus, why do my kids have to go through this!? How does he justify this? He is 42 years old for God's sake--she is 12! When I point that out, that is just more proof to him that she shouldn't be acting the way she does! WTF!!!!!!! You psycho, idiot, immature, a**hole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There......that felt better!
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