change of plans

So Friday night, great night, went on a "date" with my friend Kory, we saw "The Lazarus Effect" and he held my hand because i was "scared" it was great. Saturday night we told each other how much we liked each other, and Sunday we planned to see each other again this Thursday. My mom just texted me to let me know that i would have to go down to the college on Thursday, spend the night, and then audition in the morning. I'm excited to do that, but it wrecks the plans to see Kory. "couldn't you just see him over the weekend?" well maybe but i'm not sure if he works. the next days i'm free would be Saturday-Monday, and then on Tuesday i'm leaving for Texas for a week. I really wanted to see him before i left, so i really hope i get the chance to. He is the only one that really brings a smile to my face, and i think the people around me are getting annoyed that i talk about him so much, but i can't help it. i really care about him, and he cares about me.  I'm not sure how i'm going to break the news to him, but i need to tell him. I want to date him, because he makes me so happy (we aren't dating...yet, we are really good friends who go on "dates") and he likes me enough to be with me, and i know we wouldn't be all sexual, thank god, because he isn't that kind of person, but being this close to going to college, might make it hard. i know he wont cheat on me, and i wont cheat on him, but its gonna hurt not being able to see him. I think about him often, and when we see each other we give a firm handshake (not a hug) i don't know why, maybe because every time we hung out, he had a gf, and i didn't want to step on what was her's, so it was always a firm handshake, and now he is single, for now, so he hugged me on Friday, and it was great. slow, very girl he has been with (2) have all been beautiful and skinny, and here i am, really fat and gross, he tells me i'm pretty, but i don't feel like i am good enough for him. maybe some day i will tell him how i feel about that, but i don't want to be the kind of person that does that. 
 
all in a week. i told the guy of my dreams that i liked him, and, and, and, i lost 5 pounds. so either way i should be really happy, if not for having the best guy friend in the world (Kory) for getting closer to reaching my goal to be skinny.