Change of outlook
I wonder if it's a common experience, for those who go thru some turmoil, to come out of it with an almost care-free attitude. I don't mean carefree as in whoop-dee-doo! carefree, but care-free as in who the hell cares? As if, when your foundation is shaken a bit, the day to day trivial stresses just don't mean all that much. I'm not talking about depression, or feelings of sadness or despair. It's more like, after an emotional over-load, you just don't feel as intensely about anything. I feel more even-keel now than ever. Almost so mellow I'm boring. I wonder if I'll ever be my old high strung self again, that maybe this steady-eddy feeling is just an eye in the storm. But see, now already I don't care. I keep thinking I should feel worried about this change in attitude, but it's really not good or bad, just...different. And if I try to summon up that worried feeling, it doesn't come. So I'm stuck solidly in the "moment" and things are what they are.
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