Change of behavior

You ever notice how somtimes Heidi writes with such passion and is in the moment and in the heat of telling one of my infamous stoiries? WEll it's my way of dealing with things. Its how I can manage to live in front of a business, maintiain my party girl image, and live to talk about it on the other side? I'm learning how to focus new energy into more positive things, such as art, music, and living a clean life. One day one peaceful moment at a time. Sometimes the past comes into the present moment and I get upset get the urge to put that knife in places it doesnt need to be, but then I think, wow Twenty five years is a long time to live with something, and letting it go, is the gretest feat I have done! For twenty five yars I didn't act on anything, wouln't act on my inpulses, because its wrong to hurt yourself. For any reason. I changed my behavior and a lot of others changed their outlook on how thy handle me as well. So its ok. I begin each day thinking one way and retire for the evening at night to do what I need the most, recieve od fashioned thearpy,from one of the most hippest counclers ever, And in doing so am healing from some of the worst I had in me. Grandmall seizin, going through the motions of fakin till ya make it. I been faking it for a long time, and now I can let go. I dont have to fake anything. Its real what I go through what I've lived through, and I can use these helpful tools, and others are now beginning to understand me and learning how to not be that way, they see a big diference for the better, this is a Heidi noone has ever seen before. This is the down to earth gal we know and love. I been soul searching and have found my destiny. Fourtunatl it is to teach ca, that we have a chance to live.With hope and drive an happiness.