Ch5.My beautiful dream
One night I was sitting at my house crying, thinking about Holly, feeling empty inside like so many times before. I just wanted to die. I was in total despair once again and was tired of it all. I finally get to sleep and Holly came to me in a dream or a visitation. She was more beautiful then I have ever seen her, not a scar on her, no swelling from the dialysis that alone was a wonderful site. She told me how much she loved me and that she is always with me. She told me that she was Allowed to see me 1 last time because I needed to know that she didn't blame me for anything and I needed to know that. There is more but this is what I wanted to make public. I woke up and I haven't felt alone since. I know that we will be together again and I am thankful she was allowed to share that with me. I now cry tears of joy thinking about her, not despair. I now know that god is there and he cares for me. No I didn't see him but she said she was allowed. He new that I couldn't live without knowing so he sent my Holly down to me for 1 last time so that I could know peace and I am thankful. I feel Holly's presence with me now and I feel whole again. I am not lonely anymore. I now know that Holly is OK and she is waiting for me. She is my guiding light, Like I wanted to be for her before she died. I feel like she is my guardian angel because she is always with me. I now know peace and a newly found love for God. I am a different person for the better. I now know what is to come and can enjoy life again
Thank You For reading. I hope I helped some of you on some issues with spirituality and loss. I wanted to share the past 7 or 8 months with you because my depression was so much deeper then the death of my wife. I had to share. I was in hell and I couldn't go on without this miracle. I am still fighting everyday but I am much stronger.
I have let everything except caring for my father go. I have 3 months worth of cleaning up to do. I can function again and I need to practice what I preach. I need to get up and get started, Work my ass off, Look at the amount of progress made for inspiration and continue.
My story is not over and I hope to have many more loving chapters to come.
Thank You For reading. I hope I helped some of you on some issues with spirituality and loss. I wanted to share the past 7 or 8 months with you because my depression was so much deeper then the death of my wife. I had to share. I was in hell and I couldn't go on without this miracle. I am still fighting everyday but I am much stronger.
I have let everything except caring for my father go. I have 3 months worth of cleaning up to do. I can function again and I need to practice what I preach. I need to get up and get started, Work my ass off, Look at the amount of progress made for inspiration and continue.
My story is not over and I hope to have many more loving chapters to come.
Replies
I am so glad Holly came to you. I know how profound this dream was for you and how much comfort you got and you still have. Finding the peace that you have found. It\'s a blessing, it really is. She IS always with you. She always will be. You ARE so much stronger and you will continue to build on that strength. I wish you all the best in your healing, and I am blessed that you are my friend. Love you sweetie. Big hugs ~~
wow, so beautiful indeed. I do believe spirits do visit us in our dreams. I have had that happen to me before as well. I am glad you found some comfort from it....a hope this allows you to continue on your journey with a full heart. God Bless!