Celebrating a good decision!
Back story:
My sister is hosting a celebration of life for her late husband on Sunday in a city two hours west of my home. I took off work Thursday and Friday to drive down to help her get everything ready. In preparation for a sub at work, I had a ton of putting away and cleaning up to do in addition to lesson planning, which resulted in me working very, very late on Wednesday night. I hadn't finished my planning so I worked even later once I got home. Thursday started with 2 1/2 hours spent at work dropping off the plans and tying up loose ends. Then I gassed up, packed, loaded the car, stopped a the store, and stopped to say goodbye to husband and son before hitting the road. I commented to my husband as I left how tired I was and that I was starting to not feel well, but I set out anyway.
The journey:
A short while into my drive, I started fighting sleep. I thought, "I'll just employ all the tricks: music loud, air-conditioner on high, talk to myself, sit up straight, shake my head." Yeah, right.
A few more miles, my joints and muscles started to ache, my neck and shoulders got rigid, and my lips went numb - weird symptom I get when I'm starting to tailspin. I thought, " I can make it, it's not that far. Toughen up."
A few more miles, "Am I there yet? I was 20 miles from home.
The victory:
"How far to the next exit?"
Next exit, "Hey, sis, I'm not going to make it tonight!"
This is HUGE! This is VICTORY!
The lesson:
I'm sometimes a foolish, stubborn, old broad that fights through to the end no matter the risks or danger to myself or others. In my mind, after all the preparations, after all the hard work of getting ready to go, in light of how much my sister needed me to help, I had to get there.
Now that I'm learning to live with PD and listen to my body, I was able to realize that none of the hard work of preparing, none of the getting ready, not the needless use of two vacation days, not even my sister's need, was more important than taking care of myself and being safe, for my well-being and that of others on the road.
A funny side note:
As I merged back on the freeway toward home, a song came on the radio. I don't know the title, but the first words I heard were, "I've got a real good feeling something bad's abut to happen." And I think something bad would have happened had I continued on the trip. Thankfully, I made it home safely and am waiting for my husband to work a half-day so he can drive today.
Grateful to be alive today and maybe just a little bit smarter.
My sister is hosting a celebration of life for her late husband on Sunday in a city two hours west of my home. I took off work Thursday and Friday to drive down to help her get everything ready. In preparation for a sub at work, I had a ton of putting away and cleaning up to do in addition to lesson planning, which resulted in me working very, very late on Wednesday night. I hadn't finished my planning so I worked even later once I got home. Thursday started with 2 1/2 hours spent at work dropping off the plans and tying up loose ends. Then I gassed up, packed, loaded the car, stopped a the store, and stopped to say goodbye to husband and son before hitting the road. I commented to my husband as I left how tired I was and that I was starting to not feel well, but I set out anyway.
The journey:
A short while into my drive, I started fighting sleep. I thought, "I'll just employ all the tricks: music loud, air-conditioner on high, talk to myself, sit up straight, shake my head." Yeah, right.
A few more miles, my joints and muscles started to ache, my neck and shoulders got rigid, and my lips went numb - weird symptom I get when I'm starting to tailspin. I thought, " I can make it, it's not that far. Toughen up."
A few more miles, "Am I there yet? I was 20 miles from home.
The victory:
"How far to the next exit?"
Next exit, "Hey, sis, I'm not going to make it tonight!"
This is HUGE! This is VICTORY!
The lesson:
I'm sometimes a foolish, stubborn, old broad that fights through to the end no matter the risks or danger to myself or others. In my mind, after all the preparations, after all the hard work of getting ready to go, in light of how much my sister needed me to help, I had to get there.
Now that I'm learning to live with PD and listen to my body, I was able to realize that none of the hard work of preparing, none of the getting ready, not the needless use of two vacation days, not even my sister's need, was more important than taking care of myself and being safe, for my well-being and that of others on the road.
A funny side note:
As I merged back on the freeway toward home, a song came on the radio. I don't know the title, but the first words I heard were, "I've got a real good feeling something bad's abut to happen." And I think something bad would have happened had I continued on the trip. Thankfully, I made it home safely and am waiting for my husband to work a half-day so he can drive today.
Grateful to be alive today and maybe just a little bit smarter.
Replies
Readerleader, How much of the clean up was for the substitute and how much was for your sense of embarrassment about some one coming into your space. If you had just done the lesson plan and not cleaned up would you have been able to drive? don\'t worry about what other people think. So what if your space is cluttered. That\'s how you like it and are comfortable. If you arrived at your sisters exhausted you wouldn\'t be much help. Another thought is pulling off the road at a rest stop and taking a power nap. Are you on Mirapex some pd drugs can suddenly put you to sleep. please be careful Best regards Alex