CAUTIOUSLY OPTIMISTIC

So, Wed. I had my second LESI done (lumbar epidural steroidal injection).  I had gone back to my orthopedic surgeon and tried to talk him out of having it done.  He explained more what type of surgery it would take to fix my back.  It involved manipulating and rearranging vertabrae as well as wallowing out the hole (with a drill - gak!) the nerve goes thru.  I felt I was about to swoon.  He assured me it would not be one of those quick and easy procedures people have done with lasers, and it would take a long recovery, so if there was a way to manage without the surgery, I might want to give it a try.  I was so upset afterwards; I had my mind set on not having another LESI.  I called all my friends, and two of them helped me tremendously.  One of them reminded me that he was the expert, not me, and the other one gave me my mantra for the day: "Just give it one more shot." (literally and figuratively)  SO, that's what I did.   I passed my four month quit date in an outpatient surgery center getting stuck.  And by the way, this time it HURT (I felt violated) and I felt sick afterwards.  I think the pain sent a surge of adrenaline thru my system that over-rode the anesthesia, so although I was awake, I was still drugged.  Afterwards I was still woozy, so I told my vegan niece to drive us on to Wild Oats (her favorite store - everything tofu and then some) and I would just wait in the car.  I had again piled all of my sofa cushions in the back seat.  I had her roll down all the windows and park us in the shade, and before I knew it I was napping like a baby.  When she got back, I felt good enough to eat and went again to my favorite cheap Italian, Macaroni Grill, and got my favorite dish there, chicken scallopine, and ordered DESSERT (my four month reward) Lemon Cake.  I love everything lemon!!!  We again stopped off at a park with a walking trail, and I walked about 3/4 round with my new stick a co-worker gave me that has a handle in the shape of a bird's head, plus he'd stuck the rubber stopper thing from the bottom of an old crutch onto the bottom.  It's fabulous.  The next morning (yesterday), I woke up pain free - first time really since April 6th.  I have had some soreness and stiffness, but until I drove to work this morning, that deep nerve pain was gone.  I plan to take it REALLY EASY for a while, and plan to spend the majority of this weekend in my pool - I don't care how cold it is.  Thanks to all of you who continue to express your care and concern.  I couldn't have made it without you, and I don't even really know you!