Catching up -- Help!
Okay, so I tried posting a really long journal entry on here 2-3 weeks ago, but I was working a tablet and it kept deleting the posting instead. Therefore, I am trying again now that I have a brand new computer that I am still getting used to.
So much has happened this summer and fall since I last posted in July that I do not even know where to begin. My family and I rented a wonderful home in July...and then were forced to move out at the end of September, and the landlord refuses to give our deposit back. That is an extremely long story and we are embroiled in a battle over all of the reasons for the move.
The home we are in now is great. There have been some hiccups within the first couple weeks of moving in, but they were taken care of immediately by the repair guy.
Now, on to my health issues. I have gone up and down 10 lbs with all of this stress that we have had to deal with these past few months. The thyroid meds are not the right dosage and make me very ill, so I have stopped taking them again. I feel like I will never even begin to truly lose weight, keep it off, and start getting healthy. I am so lazy and I hate it. But I seriously have no will or desire to get off my butt alone and do anything.
I want to join a gym with my husband terribly badly, but there is no money in our budget to do so! Without a gym, I don't feel like I can do anything. I am so used to walking that it does nothing for fitness for me. I would have to run or jog to see any difference there, but I cannot do either because my ankles are weak.
I am just feeling so discouraged. I was so hoping to be 70-80 lbs slimmer by now. I want it badly enough, I really do. It's just that, when it comes to facing a workout alone, I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't understand why. Back when I was 130 lbs lighter, I walked daily. It was such a great way to clear my head. I never missed the opportunity to put on my headphones and rock out for and hour or so. I also used to do crunches and sit ups at home every night before bed. It makes me so sad to realize that those days were 8-9 years ago.
I am still so young...I want to be healthy to enjoy my life with my husband. I want to have children...I want to be the awesome person that is trapped inside this body! I need help!
So much has happened this summer and fall since I last posted in July that I do not even know where to begin. My family and I rented a wonderful home in July...and then were forced to move out at the end of September, and the landlord refuses to give our deposit back. That is an extremely long story and we are embroiled in a battle over all of the reasons for the move.
The home we are in now is great. There have been some hiccups within the first couple weeks of moving in, but they were taken care of immediately by the repair guy.
Now, on to my health issues. I have gone up and down 10 lbs with all of this stress that we have had to deal with these past few months. The thyroid meds are not the right dosage and make me very ill, so I have stopped taking them again. I feel like I will never even begin to truly lose weight, keep it off, and start getting healthy. I am so lazy and I hate it. But I seriously have no will or desire to get off my butt alone and do anything.
I want to join a gym with my husband terribly badly, but there is no money in our budget to do so! Without a gym, I don't feel like I can do anything. I am so used to walking that it does nothing for fitness for me. I would have to run or jog to see any difference there, but I cannot do either because my ankles are weak.
I am just feeling so discouraged. I was so hoping to be 70-80 lbs slimmer by now. I want it badly enough, I really do. It's just that, when it comes to facing a workout alone, I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't understand why. Back when I was 130 lbs lighter, I walked daily. It was such a great way to clear my head. I never missed the opportunity to put on my headphones and rock out for and hour or so. I also used to do crunches and sit ups at home every night before bed. It makes me so sad to realize that those days were 8-9 years ago.
I am still so young...I want to be healthy to enjoy my life with my husband. I want to have children...I want to be the awesome person that is trapped inside this body! I need help!
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