carmine died. he was in hospice. this year is unreal//visited the animal up north

carmine died.  wth?  what a year this is.  i had run into his grandson and he mentioned first c was ill, then his grandmother (he meant great grandmother, and i thought pms had died) then he said c was ill again and had signed up with hospice.  wth?  he was so active and healthy its hard to believe, but he had had stomach problems for a while and other troubles because of the junior c's and because of guilt in my opinion.  a boy who used to live with them had committed suicide, no way out, and a lot of it was c's fault.  it would come up every time his eldest son was around and on and on.  so now he is dead.  this year sucks.  
so i'm reading through and it says pms - his first wife - cared for him to the end.  hmmm.  at first i think, oh, that's nice - much better than p's son, who bailed on rta as soon as she became seriously ill and literally LEFT because he "didn't want to do that".  then i think a little - c and pms were not on good terms, so what happened there exactly.  pms used to rob him.  he literally caught her CRAWLING on his bedroom floor when he was sleeping, to get at his wallet.  she wasn't even supposed to have a key to the house.  he used to be a cop many years ago, and he pulled his gun on her.  he didn't press charges because she is the mother of his children.  no other reason, but that kind of crap always went on between them.  they only talked if it was something with the kids, who were grown by then.  
hate to think like that, but there were always things between them.  you know what else is creepy as hell - i was at the library and there was a guard there - they have that in florida for some reason - and his name tag said carmine or carmelo s on it.   the guy was a total ringer for c and dressed in a uniform.  then i thought to myself.  no, this is one of those things where its not the person you know, its their son or even worse, grandson.  lol.  but it was too old to be the grandson, they don't look alike anyway.  don't know what to think right now.  its too upsetting.  

so went up north again to look at the torti they found.  its not the one.  but the other cat that was shy, was trying to play with me though the glass which was a surprise.   they brought it out to meet another couple in a get to know you room and it was fighting it and trying to leave.  lol.   it was stand-offish as it usually is with people.  there is a super-friendly one, but the couple didn't want anything too friendly either.   we also have a new one coming around at the house up north, a solid black, that i left food for.  
not in the best of moods right now.