Caregivers Stories
Oh, how I wish I would have kept a journal... then again I remember why I didn't keep a journal, I didn't want to go back and read it and I knew if I had kept a journal I would have to go back and read it, and relive and remember the nightmare that became our life. My memory has faded, I want my
bad memories to fade away, I want the cruel tapes in my mind to stop playing. I want to only remember the good times, the happy times, the laughing times, the healthy times. Unfortunately the tapes remain forever embedded in a memory that allows them to the surface when prompted.. this will be one of those times...
and I shall write my story...
Replies
Tracy,
Yes, those tapes keep playing, but it has been my experience that the episodes change!
After a while, I began viewing things that I hadn\'t thought about in yearsthings that were part of our everyday routine. I saw those simple routines with new, thankful eyes. I saw a husband who gave his all for his family in both big and small ways. I saw a husband who often sacrificed his own comfort and relaxation to accompany a bunch of giggling, screaming girls to an all-day activity that, I\'m sure, tried his patience at times. I saw a husband who swam against the current if it concerned a personal conviction. I saw a husband who taught me more about love by just \"being\" than any number of self-help books about marriage.
Yes, indeed, those episodes change as the seasons change in our lives; and, thankfully, we are blessed with an opportunity to appreciate our loved one in ways that life often obscured. Be patient while those bad memories dissipate, and they surely will as we reach forward on our journey. Blessings to you. TJ
Tracy, I have to agree with TJ, even though my story is quite different, the bad memories that plagued me of the final hours after Lance\'s accident have faded considerably over the past 3 1/2 years. I am finding that little things bring back memories of things that I had forgotten for many years, I am thankful for those long lost memories. They bring a smile to my heart. The bad ones do still surface from time to time but is getting better.
Hugs, Denise
Tracy - I have kept a journal, and it\'s up to 300 pages. I never read it back. Well not never, but rarely. What I\'ve found is that all the memories are stored in my brain - bad and good. I write them out because I have to get them out, all of them. And do it over and over again, and it\'s a catharsis when I do so. Trish is right - the small, seemingly insignificant memories come back and it\'s good when they do. Both go side by side. hugs to you - Marsha