Cara I Love You For Always
They so need a blue face for sad... I'm not feeling awful... nor horrible... I guess I'm OK... but honestly... more sad than anything... like so many of us know... sad is just below the surface most of the time... it is our reality...
A bit from another song from Sarah McLachlan.... I changed the name from Adia to Cara... I think most of us feel this sometimes... wishing so desperately...
Cara, I do believe I've failed you Cara, I know I've let you down Don't you know I tried so hard to love you in my way..
(The next line so does not fit anything I feel... It is not and never will be easy to let you go)
Cara, I'm empty since you left me Tryin' to find a way to carry on I search myself and everyone To see where we went wrong
I bought a CD at the garage sale I went to yesterday... and although the words to some of the songs do make me sad... I can handle it... I'm glad to hear words that speak my heart... Its so hard many days... I will say on a better note... although I do believe I failed a million ways... I know I tried... and I know I loved and love Cara... and I pray she knows too...
A bit from another song from Sarah McLachlan.... I changed the name from Adia to Cara... I think most of us feel this sometimes... wishing so desperately...
Cara, I do believe I've failed you Cara, I know I've let you down Don't you know I tried so hard to love you in my way..
(The next line so does not fit anything I feel... It is not and never will be easy to let you go)
Cara, I'm empty since you left me Tryin' to find a way to carry on I search myself and everyone To see where we went wrong
I bought a CD at the garage sale I went to yesterday... and although the words to some of the songs do make me sad... I can handle it... I'm glad to hear words that speak my heart... Its so hard many days... I will say on a better note... although I do believe I failed a million ways... I know I tried... and I know I loved and love Cara... and I pray she knows too...
Replies
My dear friend, your post is my feelings exactly! Thank you for saying those words out load, and sharing them with us. When I wake up, every morning, my first feeling is sadness. I try to hide my feelings, because people forever keep telling me how much happier and perfect Colleen is now. I KNOW THAT!! But I have so many other feelings, questions and emotions inside me!!
I hate it when people send me pictures saying: \"Be grateful that you woke up this morning\". I do NOT feel grateful that I woke up to just another day.....!
Yes, a blue face is definitely how I feel most of the time.
Warm hugs to you, Elissa! xxx
You are speaking my words. I feel I tried to do my best when it came to helping Jason, but obviously my best wasn\'t good enough. This is not a constructive attitude and I know it, but it is truth....Atuality....as Bere Rabbit would say. It makes me sad too. Yes a blue icon for sad would be appropriate.
I can relate. The sadness is just barely below the surface. I like some sad songs because they express how I feel. Somehow I am not as alone.
Tight hugs, M
She knows, Elissa. I am sure she always knew. Mothers and daughters have issues most of the time. I know my daughter has been angry with me, probably hated me at times, but she told me that she always knew I loved her. As moms we try so hard to do what is best for our child, but still trying to guide them in the right way to go. Sometimes, they don\'t appreciate that, lol.
Sad is an everyday state of mind for me. I am always sad, just some times more than others. Yes, I think a blue smiley face would say it all!!!
(((HUGS)))...Julia
A blue face is a good idea. I can also relate to being sad most all of the time. I try to hide it so my girls don\'t worry, but it\'s there and I suspect nobody is really fooled. Hugs, Paula
One thing we all agree on: we would have done anything to keep our kids alive! We all did the best we could. I would have rather lost a limb, than a son. But no one has the choice. We are forever changed. That\'s just the facts, soth. Love, abby
There are days when I gravitate to sad songs. When I am sad, so often, upbeat music just grinds me the wrong way and I can\'t listen to it. We do need a blue sad face. Sad is such a common emotion here and yes, me too. Just sad alot of days, between the devastated and hurting days... Well said (((hugs))) Merrilee
It is the powerlessness we feel
.... that ultimately life happens ... and we wish so bad we could have had more say over it .... it huts so bad
Understanding the feeling of sadness and longing which when all is said and done after the anger and numbness fall away becomes a very strange bedfellow.
I gravitate to music often as a healer too and I have no doubt that Cara understands and feels your heart in ways now that she never could have earth side. It\'s the one very small knowing I carry when I go to those places of poking around in what I missed along the way and what I could have done to have created a different outcome... Deepest of sighs... Powerlessness as Janice says over the path of our children and loved ones.
Loving care dear Elissa and so much understanding,
XO Joanie
Knowing this too, sweet lady! Josh was the one who first introduced me to this Sarah\'s beautiful voice. I still have the CDs he gave me and will as long as I have anything to say about it. I have not listened to music very much since he died though. (Sigh)
Sending you love!
Wow, I know exactly how you feel!