CAR WRECK!!!
holy shit. i got in a car accident with my baby!!! i looked away for a second, and people were stopped for the light, it was a long line... i dont remember seeing brake lights, i think they had started to move, i rear ended a car and pushed it into another.... i was so scared. my back seat unlatched and threw the baby foreward to almost the front seat. she is ok. i am ok. but what the fuck is wrong with me? how could i let that happen!!!??? what if something would have happened to her!!! i couldnt ever live with that. not ever. not after all we been through to get her here. will there ever come a time where im not living day by day? minute by minute? ODAAT? trying to rebuild my life? why is it when i finally start to be happy something happens? im so happy she is ok. but now what? i got a 200 dollar ticket, a wreck, and no car, and no money. im scared. things were going so good. i feel like a horrible mom. like i cant take care of her. like i dont deserve her. im so exhausted. and im upset. what do i do now? where do i go from here? oh hell. its funny how i ever got involved with gambling to begin with, me and my awful luck. but we are ok at least. the first person i called was my "friend" after 911. i was meeting him for lunch. i wanted him there. then i called my step mom. i still went out to lunch after it happened. i was scared to just go home and sit. he drove me home and i let him hug me. you know, i would say this is all too much. but after what i been through this last year, im so used to the pain and panic that the most prominent emotion i feel right now is, sick and tired. when will it end? when can i be happy and JUST be happy? can i have a period of rest? of peace in my life? what did i do wrong now?
Replies
Whoa...that really scared me! So sorry you two had to go through that. Honey, you didn\'t do anything wrong, it was an accident. That\'s life. Rest, you\'re both okay, that\'s all that matters. You\'re both okay... Okay? And then next car you put the babies car seat in, make sure the actual car seat is secure. Wow, I\'m so glad she\'s okay, both of you. I\'m also glad you have your friend :) Can\'t have enough of those. I don\'t know how to tell you, we can only live one day at a time, it\'s just the way life is...but I know what you mean. You want to feel secure about your future, you\'re a mommy now, it\'s important to you. I understand. And please know that this is the truth, you didn\'t do anything wrong. Okay? Love you, Robin
Okay, let\'s concentrate on what you did right! 1) you had your baby in a car seat ( learned now you also have to secure the seat). 2) You worried about her.. must mean you are a good loving mom, right? 3) It was an accident, you didnt deliberately go and rear end that car-
What you did right was do your best to protect your child, reassure her afterwards that you were there, and learned a valuable lesson in it all. Perhaps God had sent a little guardian angel to sit on Ariyah\'s shoulder that day.
Things will get better, you are tired, your life has changed completely... it will get to a comfort level.
Hang in there, you and baby are just fine.
Honey, I know all about moving from one disaster to another. But things WILL settle down. I am just glad that you are both okay. I bet you are tired and run down, and that is how the accident happened in the first place. Just try not to be so hard on yourself. Things will get better.
Hang in there, hon. I\'m so glad no one was hurt! Try not to be so hard on yourself - you are human, right?
Hope you are doing OK!!!!!! Glad you weren\'t hurt!!!
Hugs, Dianne
Wow sweetie, I don\'t know how I missed this journal! I\'m so sorry that you had an accident, but that\'s what it was, an accident. You didn\'t do it on purpose and you are not a bad mom. I remember the days of little to no sleep taking care of a newborn....it is exhausting! You have made so much progress in your life. It will continue to get better. I hope you can get some rest and just relax a little bit.
Love, Julie
Oh you poor thing - now breathe and stop beating yourself up. This can happen to anyone. It has happened to me - this very situation and luckily I had no children in the car. I think it happening with the kids makes us realise the frailty of everything. You must forgive yourself for a mistake. We are all human and this happens. I am so glad you weren\'t hurt but understand the feelings you must be feeling.
When it happened to me I was on the free way and I caused about 5 cars to pile up. That was a while ago and it hasn\'t happened since.
We all drive around in little tin cans and sooner or later they are going to bump.
Hugs and thinking of you.
xx Suzi